The Truth Behind Women, Men and Money
Every time I discuss the subject of women and money, I get more and more “Divine Downloads” as to why women struggle with this topic. Sharing this information with you is part of my Spiritual Money Contract and there is no way I would ever hold anything back. That’s why I knew I had to create this series for you.
But, I must warn you – what I reveal in this first video is not for the faint of heart and definitely more than a little controversial. I discuss the “elephant in the middle of the room” regarding men, women and money, and what you can do as a modern woman to break this cycle once and for all. I can’t wait to hear what you think! So, click on the play button now and be sure to…
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Hi Group.
Thank you Kendall for this gift of bringing more consciousness into business. This has been something that I have been working to incorporate into my business practices and as part of my own growth. It is funny what the mind is conditioned to tell you when you actually begin to question your thoughts.
Here is my response to the exercise. In my situation, it is not that I have a fear of making more than someone else (at least not at first thought), but it is more that I have been conditioned to believe that it is hard to make money, that I have to work REALLY hard to make money, and that people don’t have the money to pay for my services. Thoughts have popped up, “who am I to charge this much for this or that.” You know those thoughts.
Thank you and I look forward to the next video and especially to the MMSI in October.
*Excellence,
Lisa Hromada
Personal Branding Strategist & Graphic Designer
Hi Lisa,
Many people have the belief that it’s hard work to make money or others won’t pay. In the 2nd video I’ll explain why this is and give you a tip on what you can do about it. Meanwhile, I suggest digging in to the “I can’t make more than someone else” concept because it’s likely there, below consciousness and it’s time to bring it to light and bust through it!
(-:
Kendall
Thank you for the response, Kendall. I must investigate. (-:
~ Lisa
Hi Kendall and Group,
As I began looking deeper into my thoughts—being the observer as I imagined making more money (one of my goals), I began to see that I have carried a belief regarding who ‘should’ make more in a relationship. (oh, those pesky ‘shoulds’) Interesting revelation that will be beneficial to explore as we go through the other videos and exercises.
Thank you~
*Excellence to everyone,
Lisa
Hi Kendall and others. I have written down the exercise to work on later today, and just watched the video while exercising (grin).
I’m just starting to read the responses, and Lisa brought up a concept that hit a note with me; my belief around who I believe SHOULD make more in a relationship. My husband is MORE than happy that I should make all I can possibly make.. while he enjoys retirement. Funny thing is I’m ok with his retirement, but can’t imagine how he can do so little…
More later as I read the responses, and I also look forward to the MMSI in October.
The exercise at the end of this training video is going to help you break through an ancient belief that has likely been holding you back from making more money. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on it!
Love,
Kendall
Wonderful Kendal I need to do some work, but I knew I had major blocks but couldnt work out what was going on within me, now I know and who, I now need to move beyond this…Thankyou for you fabulous work your an inspiration xxx
Karen;_))))
Dear Kendall – very interesting stuff. I am listening to you from Denmark, but I am sure, that some of the challenges and programming is the same here. I know for a fact, that it is my husbond, I am “protecting”. I am already making more money than him, and I am probably afraid to go further.
But I am dreaming about a better life for him, for our twins and for myself with healtier food, more travelling time, more leisure and no stress about the economy. At the same time we have close relations in Tanzania, Africa, that I would love to support – if I had the money to do so. Looking forward to the rest of your videoes…..
Wow, Kendall, this was powerful!
I almost chose not to do this exercise because I knew that I didn’t have an issue with my gorgeous husband (of twenty-eight years) and the dynamic between us.
However, I was shocked to discover the ‘who’ that was secretly standing in the way of my subconscious belief. A younger sibling. Thank you for sharing so generously and opening up the way for blockages to be cleared.
Also, thank you for so gloriously embracing your divine power and standing proud as a beautiful example of what us women can achieve when we decide to ‘step up’ and embrace our innate, creative gifts and talents.
Warmly,
Lily
Kendall, I have been receiving your emails for years now and I don’t even know how I came to find you, which I find interesting in and of itself. You are so on target with the root of money based in our unconscious. As soon as you said who would you not want to hurt or make feel bad, I knew exactly who that person is, my husband. Before my husband and I met, I use to be a successful woman making more money than him working less hours and with more flexibility, loving what I did. Now I feel totally disempowered and in a state of guilt because of the financial choices and decisions I have made for myself because of my unconscious programming and I see it so clear. I so want to move past all this and get back to work, because I am currently unemployed which is also part of that decision process, and make the money I am worth making again. I believe that you have helped me to see the piece that I needed to work through. My own unconscious programming has been keeping me from getting to the place of peace for myself and most of all for the man I think of as so fragile he will be hurt.
My paradigm shift is recognizing that he is a strong man who will be empowered by my success not coddled up in a ball because of it. Thank you so much for your insight and wisdom. I was also able to see each dollar amount. I keep myself stuck based on the amounts of money each man in my life has previously accomplished, so the amounts are very easy to see. Now all I have to do is allow my unconscious to make the shift at each interval. That is going to be exciting! I can’t wait to see how that transpires. I will keep you posted. Thank you so much! GREAT JOB!!!
Danielle, I also look forward to the ‘shift’. I realize that half the battle is awareness, but we can’t always shift ourselves out of our deep-rooted beliefs. Kendall, I know this is your gift, so I think I can say for all of us that we look forward to receiving that gift, and this gift of the videos. I believe it will clear the path for what else will develop from the MMSI workshop in October.
Definitely keep me posted! You’ve done amazing work here in excavating this deeply rooted pattern and I am really proud of you!
In a different post on this blog I explain how power is not a finite resource. You get to have all you want AND so does your man. Your robbing yourself of yours does not give him more. I recommend setting an income goal for yourself for the next 90 days. Make it DO-ABLE. I have a strong intuitive hit that you’re going to have no problem meeting it, that it’s going to be exciting for you and that you’re now going to feel released.
Love,
Kendall
A goal has been set, as a result of the video. So I’m already excited by this and know exactly what I want as a result. Thanks, Kendall.
Hello Kendall,
thank you for that wonderful insight lesson. I can understand that you yourself were nervous to reveal that truth. I guess living in Europe a few hundred years ago you would have been burned for that video. Lucky you (and us) for being in 2010.
Looking foreward to more videos like that,
best regards
Susanne
Hi Kendall:
This will be a fantastic video series – I love how you speak of the divine feminine power!
And what a need for women like yourself to help other women speak their own powerful and independent financial voice!!
Something that may help others reading this, is what I’ve done my entire life – despite the typical negative messages I received as a child (as one example, I remember from my dad quite a few times, “Oh golly, I’ll never be as well off as your Uncle Dave…).
Even when I was very young, I disregarded what I perceived to be my dad’s silliness. With compassion in my heart, I always figured that it had more to do with his own self-image than being based on any sort of reality. (I do realize that that was pretty deep insight for a young girl, however…).
In any case, despite those messages, I began my first business at age 17. Then I went on to buy and sell real estate for a few years and after that, got into investing! (And now I have an online/offline biz).
For whatever reason, I seemed to be able to consciously block and intentionally override the money messages I perceived to be silly as a kid…simply because I didn’t believe them. They just didn’t make any sense to me…particularly when looking around at what others were doing and what they seemed to believe.
It actually breaks my heart for my dad today that he placed those self-limitations on himself (he has since passed away), as they likely prevented him from reaching his full potential.
Hope this seemingly simplistic look at it helps others a bit…
Thank you Kendall!
Ann-Michele.
Thank you so much for these series, one day I´d love to earn enough money to be your client! :0) Once we discover who that person is, how do we break that unconscious condition? Bringing it up to the surface is definitely a first fundamental step to eliminate it but is there an exercise to stop that condition from coming back in loops?
Good – but only watched a few minutes.
Hi, Kendall:
I enjoyed your first video. As a male, I too had to develop my “millionaire mind” when I started my business. It’s critical to break through this.
Even though I’ve broken through this mindset, I’m not making “entry-level to intermediate” progress on the money desire side and wonder if my marketing is off target.
I ask this next question because we are talking about money and marketing breakthroughs – how does the “millionaire mindset” ripple to the marketing side?
Thanks, and I look forward to the next video.
Take Care,
Ken Moore
Kendall, this is great, thank you. Here’s what the exercise turned up for me: It’s not so much that I don’t want to disempower my husband, as I would be angry at him for mooching off of me if I start to make a lot more money than he does. I’m sure this comes from my history of other husbands and boyfriends who did exactly that.
Ah ha!
I had to laugh Jennifer. That is exactly why I am single. I’ve always been more driven than the men in my life – and it did cause those exact issues. So I just gave up men. Besides, as a single mom, I didn’t want a parade of men if you know what I mean.
Dear Kendall,
WHOA. Just when I thought I was aware of all my pesky little subconscious money barriers, you gave me the mirror to find yet another. And this one is BIG.
I did the exercise and quickly ferreted out a complex belief I inherited from my mom ~ a belief around what “the man” in your life SHOULD provide. I didn’t feel like I was carrying around guilt as much as resentment. And I was able to identify two specific men that I had conjured up over the years who mirrored that belief (and resentment) back to me.
Ironically, my mom was single when she raised me, so she also taught me a lesson about the power of a woman in the working world. So I’ve got two beliefs about money and power that are working at cross-purposes. Yikes!
Looking forward to even more money breakthroughs as your series continues. Bring it on, sister!
Big hug,
Sharon
Dear Sweet Sharon,
Yes, this can be VERY complex because our ego creates so many ways of perpetuating (and perpetrating) the old programming. My family programming is that husbands/boyfriends are not powerful around money. So we love them but don’t respect them. Not pretty. I suspect that the men in your life who mirrored the resentment were not powerful in some way around money, or you did not LET them be powerful. Can you tell me if that’s the case?
So…what is one way your behavior will organically shift because of this powerful realization?
Supporting you in money and in love,
Kendall
Yes Kendall! That struck a cord with me – men around me throughout my life not being powerful with money. Along with other money beliefs that are not positive, this is definitely one of them. Thank you Sharon and Kendall for sharing. I look forward to connecting more.
*Excellence,
Lisa
Kendall, thank you so much for sharing. I love the last exercise you gave us in his video. My salary is in the six figure mark and I have been having a hard time increasing it since (other than the 3% raises I have been getting). It is so true that part of me is scared that my fiance feels threatened if I make a whole lot more than him monetarily. We had this very same discussion the day my salary was higher than his. He admitted that it bothered him a little bit but he got over it. I bet deep down in me I am still holding onto this fear/discussion. Money almost represents this power struggle between my man and I even though we both make decent money and we manage our own. How do I make it so that we both don’t look at it as a power struggle?
Okay, here’s what you do:
1. Understand that power is NOT a limited resource! It is infinite. So you having more does not rob him of him stepping up into his power as well.
2. It’s great that he admitted that it bothers him a bit but if you stop the conversation there you have an elephant in the middle of the room. The next step is to discuss how it makes him feel, in what way are those feelings familiar to him and what his secret fear is. Probably that you won’t need him and will leave him for someone who makes more and is therefor more powerful. You don’t need to fix him or heal him. Just be direct, loving and kind and reassure him you would not leave him, that he is all man for you. He’ll love it. Then have hot sex. Okay, wow, this blog is getting WAAAAYYYY more personal than I thought it would!
3. Never stop being the woman! Let him open doors for you, dress up pretty and feminine, tell him he’s your hero, ASK for his help and receive it when he offers it to you. Don’t treat him like an employee or a colleague and turn off the masculine part of you when you get home that you’re likely having to turn on when at your job.
4. Create common financial goals that have a specific purpose to them, such as saving to buy a house or to go on an awesome holiday together. Contribute together so there is a feeling of unity rather than of competition.
Listen, lots of guys love strong, powerful women so you don’t have to turn into a cutesy little girl (so totally not authentic, right?) but YOU need a break from exercising the masculine side of you, too. You’ll both love it.
LMK how it works for you!
Kendall
Thank you so much!
You hit a lot of points on the mark! He has told me to stop talking to him as an coworker many times before and I didn’t know what it means until you pointed it out. We had so many fights because of this! I need to balance out my masculine energy in the house. I am so used to running my life on my own and making all the calls that I have a hard time sharing this decision process with him and letting him be the man (without giving away my own power). I got some work to do. I’ll give your suggestions a try and will keep you posted.
Thank you very much!
Have a wonderful weekend, Kendall!
This has been the most helpful thing that anyone has ever said to me. I have been stuck at a subsistence level only for all of my life and even maintaining that level has been very difficult. There is guilt and a feeling that if I were to make more that I would be one of those people who doesn’t care about others and has sold out their fellow humans.
I didn’t realize until now that this is actually a very deep programming that has permeated both sides of my family, and we have some very strong females as well!
Dear Cathlyn,
You’re carrying the torch my dear. It’s up to YOU to break out of this legacy and create something new for your family and for all of the people who’s lives you touch. This will not be easy and not without some people in your family perhaps reacting negatively. Don’t let that stop you. You were not given this awareness to throw it on the ground and waste it. I am supporting you!
Now, how much money would you like to make in the next 90 days as your first foray onto your true Spiritual Money Path?
Kendall
Cathlyn and Kendall, I find the whole issue of family programming very, very interesting – this has been a big issue for me. Feelings of disloyalty and rejection used to come up for me whenever I thought about making more money than my family. (Perhaps because my family would often mock people who have money, including those within the family who are ‘Scrooge-like’ and really value money!)
Kendall, I think you could create a whole course about the family-loyalty/breaking-new-ground issue!
Thanks for all that you do.
Joanne
Hi Kendall,
I really appreciated this video and the fact that you’ve given it to us for free. I’ve been on a few of your calls and am really drawn to your spiritual approach to overcoming money limitation and the focus on the feminine. I have succeeded in male dominated fields throughout my life but have ended up burned out, unfulfilled, and exhausted so I’m just really enjoying finding a way to succeed while honoring my feminine self. So, thank you.
In my early twenties I had a job that paid me a high salary and I made more than most of my friends and most of the men I dated. And honestly, there was no subconscious belief about not wanting to make more than the guys-it was pretty conscious for me. If I made more than a man I dated I felt like there was inherently something wrong and he was not great dating material and definitely not a choice for a lifetime. I felt like I couldn’t be supported by them and basically, they weren’t good enough. It feels kind of wrong when I say it out loud but it was the truth of how I felt.
I made more than my husband when I met him and when we got serious I quickly gave up everything and downsized my life and have never made more than he was, well last year for about two months I did and then I gave up again. I don’t know that he has an issue with it but I know I do and he and he is the one I worry about upsetting in going through the money exercise you gave us.
In going through your exercise it was quickly clear that my money earning limit is $75,000. And frankly, that’s just not enough to live in the manner I would like to. $150,000 added a few more comforts but wasn’t life changing. At $250,000 a slight feeling of freedom came and $500,000 really felt fun. Interestingly, at $1,000,000 I didn’t feel any guilt about hurting my husband (or my mom who also came up at different levels) and I felt total freedom and independence.
So, that’s my story. I enjoy your work and look forward to the next video.
Thanks,
Suzanne
Thanks so much, Kendall, for this video training.
Like you said on the video, I knew which men I’m unconsciously trying not to hurt as soon as you talked about it. My ex-husband at the lowest level, he and my father both from 250.000 upward. And, I’m ashamed to admit, even a man I recently briefly dated came up at 100.000.
Ough! I always saw myself as an independent woman, and see me now: holding myself back, even for men who are not even part of my (daily) live anymore! I hope that this inside will help me to break through to the 6-figures I’m so close to for the first time ever. I’m looking forward to the next video!
Hi Kendall,
To me the most powerful “breakthrough” thought today was the idea that there is more than one definition to power in business as it is popularly perceived. When you realize that “power” is always understood as the male definition, feminine discomfort instantly begins to make sense.
Thanks for sharing your ideas so honestly and freely. You’ve certainly given me new ideas to explore and develop.
Kendall, I love, LOVE how you stand there and model for me what a powerful woman is. Not one that looks like an Amazon warrior but a beautiful soft woman who is standing powerful and strong and NOT be afraid of her power.
And, I agree with you that I was conditioned unconciously, that I must not earn more than my husband though I know, that it will help improve our lives and I will be more empowered by the knowledge that I can support my family if my husband, the sole breadwinner, can’t.
I WAS afraid, that if I do make more than my husband, I will lose his love for me because I disempowered him as a man…lol…how ridiculous!!!
Right now, if I were to make $100,000…WOO HOO!!!!! I am over the moon!!! The strength and confidence I will feel and the power…oh, the power of feeling me…not just a woman, me, an individual.
To think that I can, CAN, make $100,000, $250,000, $500,000, $1 mil!!!! I am excited and I can feel my guts crunching out of fear that I am rocking the boat. I am afraid that my husband will be insulted by my success rather than celebrate with me and maybe even come and join me. I can feel it right in my gut, in my 3rd chakra.
I know that I will start becoming afraid to go from $100,000 to $250,000. So, I know that making $100,000 will be easier for me than to move to the next level of $250,000.
This is awesome and I can’t wait for video #2!
Hugs,
Shirley
Wow Kendall.
Thanks so much for this trainning. It’s very generous of you
While you were explaining the exercise I knew right away who he was. The info resonated deeply inside of me. But what has surprised me is that no matter what the amount, what I’m really concerned about it hurting his feelings by making money easily and through a business whe he has worked so much (and so hard) in his life!
Now that I know what is going on? How do you suggest I erase that unconscious programming from my unconscious?
Lots of love
Charo
I found the information Kendall talked about to be very true. As a 60 year old women, I come from an era where I was raised to believe that women should be the care takers, shouldn’t rock the boat etc.
The exercise around the beliefs about money was interesting….I didn’t come up with a specific person, but just the general idea that men are supposed to be the money earners, and women are supposed to take care of the home front, and that because men are stronger etc, they should earn more than women.
Extremely revealing Kendall! Didn’t think this mattered – but boy was I wrong… Having a husband, my father, 4 brothers and 3 brother-in-laws in my life, I got to look at how my making more $ than these important men in my life would not only create tremendous after shocks in the present, but would also affect the ancestral patterns I inherited. From this day forward, our family lineage will never, ever be the same again. Very profound insights – thank you for offering this challenge.
Wow, as always Kendall, you have OVER-DELIVERED in content and supremely valuable, powerful, mind-shifting information that I know for me, created a huge emotional breakthrough.
I fall into the ‘nice girl’ syndrome and have always had a difficult time putting enough value on my work. Whether it was an issue with time boundaries and always letting others come first or not charging enough for my services because I don’t put enough value on my time and services, this has been a huge issue for me FOREVER!
THANK YOU, Kendall for helping me see what was going on internally so I could shift that internal mental stuff to step into a bigger vision of myself and my business!
Can’t WAIT to see what’s coming up in the next videos!
And can’t wait to see you in person in a couple of months
with gratitude, love and hugs,
Dawn
Awesome insights Dawn! What I share in video #2 will help you tremendously as well, because I can already see which is your Money Mirror (I explain these in the next video). Keep asking yourself this question: “As someone who values her gifts FIRST, what action will I take (or what decision will I make)? Be prepared for it to feel uncomfortable at first. That will pass.
I can’t wait to see you, too, at this year’s Money, Marketing and Soul Intensive! I’m not on this blog to sell anything but hey, since you brought it up, there are only 47 seats left so for those of you who want to check it out, go to http://www.mmsi2010.com
It’s going to be amazing!
Love,
Kendall
Btw, the person who came up for me in the exercise (who I had never thought about before in connection with my making more money!) was my mother because SHE was the most powerful person in my life as she raised me as a single parent for a good portion of my life and has a very strong, controlling, powerful personality. This was a HUGE revelation for me since we still have such a close relationship, which is healthy and functional now although it took years to get it there… BUT obviously this was one piece I had never looked at before today and how it was holding me back… WOW. THANK YOU, Kendall! This was so huge for me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
Dawn,
I can relate to this as well having been raised primarily by my mom. In my situation, my mom often worked two jobs and struggled financially to raise my brothers and me. Money=Struggle/Lack was often the belief. She was and still is a great influence in my life and we are very close, but I have realized that it has been a challenge to break the belief that money is hard to come by and that people struggle. I look forward to a BIG shift into reality.
Hope to meet up in October at the MMSI.
*Excellence,
Lisa
Thank you Kendall acknowledging your souls purpose and so generously sharing your story of how you have over come your money obstacles, and how we can too! Growing up with three brothers and a traditional Mom and Dad, I know I have the concept that a woman should not make more than her man buried down deep. Excavating that belief is going to be the hard part!
I am presently working with a group of Feng Shui practitioners who are struggling with income and their money beliefs. I am looking at this issue through the lens of the five elements. What I ‘ve discovered is that what many Feng Shui consultants and healers, in general, are missing is the element FIRE. Fire is the element that is bold and carries the charisma, excitement, and enthusiasm. Fire brings people together and gets projects off the ground and running.
Thank you again and I look forward to the remaining video’s!
Love and light,
Candace
His name immediately popped into my brain – my younger brother, the millionaire. Whenever I’ve gotten into financial problems, he helps me out. Something about being the helpless one that makes it uncomfortable for me to earn more than I do at present. My “it doesn’t bother me anymore” point was $250K
Kendall thank so much for the vids, love reading your blogs posts and the connection you make between inner and outer is incredibly helpful as is your take on feminine power and marketing from that perspective. In response to the exercise the person is my darling husband and not long after we met my income dropped and the level has remained below his for 8 or so years. This is about my beliefs, not his. A few months back I also became aware that I had been waiting for him to provide our family income, rather than perceiving myself as an equal provider in our relationship. Prior to being married I had a good income, being married and having children may have triggered those inherited unconscious beliefs?! Thanks for the enlightening information!
Kendall,..I am so glad to come across you on my path
)….
… as a teenager and onwards I have tended to look after others …don’t get me wrong I don’t think that I am noble or good …but rather conditioned and it was natural for me and to be a nurse seemd like a natural progression..I loved my patients …the community and the variety ..and I’ve had many memorable and fun times in this profession…not good with the rules though and never actually thought of my self as a nurse (despite the numerous qualifications I have gained)…My Dad thought to be a pharmacist would be a nice job for a girl….Ididn’t showfor an exam …bombed there and my mom thought I’d look nice in a nurses uniform (she was a nurse b4 she mothered 9 children …spot the Catholic!!) My Dad who had quite an abundant mentality but was pulledto stress and worry with asa ranch owner grazier and farmer…and my mother always had a scarcity model of thinking …despite her generosity and kindness +++…My mother believed that “men look after women”…and therefore for me to be looked after I should get married…The complicating factor with this was that I had developed a strong desire to break out of the being smothered position …desire for independence and freedom ….and security ..I have never married but not mastered the scienceand art of financial freedom….I have made many attempts to “break free” to live in my independent nature …Desire +++..as you secribed ..I have attended so many personal and professional devt programs in the area of NLP,Coaching, Training …I could have easily bought a house…and not been able to make the leap into my own business…now I feel really a bit fearful as I have no security…I feel pretty exhausted… I work still as a “casual” nurse as I still work towards my desired life ..always believing vthat this will happen…I earned close to $100k as a nurse last year ..not bad …but needed it to pay for the courses!!…. My mother thru a medium told me tnhat she had an attiude that shr now knows was not supportive …to get on withy becoming visible and letting my self be seen and live abundantly (my words!!)..and even though I feel like I’ve done the work to release my limiting beliefs and “sabotage” ..I cannot seem to move fwd!! ….Any wisdom..I am looking fwd to your MMSI in OCtober !!..lots and joy Colleen (from OZ)
I hope you don’t mind if I have a bit of a rave here..just getting perspective and looking for real wisdom to move fwd
I have been an “employee” all of my 35!! years OF WORKING ..ON AND OFF AS A NURSE with diversions..attempts to break away ….in sales, mgmt, mkting, education roles….and a bit of a failed attempt at MLM
Great content Kendall. Cant wait for the next video….. it sounds like the one I need!
xo
Hi Kendall
I have to share this with you.
Since I first found my money speedometer back in 2008, and followed you in the success circle I have wondered again and again how this on the one hand used your tools to build a model, that would bring in more money and on the other hand I have taken a deeeeeep dive in income.
I actually remember being very surprised by how much money I actually made (a lot more than I thought)
Last night watching the video and you asking, who my “person” was I could actually physically smell (i kid you not) my father and at the same time sense how he would rule the whole family with his anger, emotions and feeling small.
I will be very curious to se what breakthroughs will be revealed in this experience, and how I can use it to turn around and create the life I want now as a grown devine feminine and powerful woman.
Looking forward to the next exercise
Love
Sophie
Hi Kendall!
I will go straight to the point. It was not controversial at all, what you said. Not here in Sweden (I am swedish). It is a common fact that women don´t seek power (like money) because it makes them unattractive sexually. It is all about getting laid. It´s biology. Reproduction etc.
And that is why men seek power. To increae their sexual power.
We want to be looked att and o k in the eyes of the men. We desire to stay sexual atractive. We get lonely (we think) when we, as women, have power. It is that simple.
I think that one of humans biggest fears is this: to loose sexual power. That is why the beauty industy is a hit. Beauty, youth and so on is power. It is all about sex and not loosing that power.
The men who can live with a women that earn her money well – you cant count them om your hand.
So what you have to work on as a womenif yu want to get rich is to live without this wish to be looked upon as sexy. To sustain it. To not any more be dependent om the mens o k.
And that is why it is easier, I think, for middle aged women to go this path, becuase they lost it in the many mens eyes anyway
Thank you so much for your generosity, Kendall!
PS: Excuse me my english…
One little more note: a women with power is always a threat to men. Even if we wish it is not.A creative woman, a woman who makes money gives signals that she put her self in the center. And a women who is not giving out all the time to others, nurturing etc, but centering, that is looked upon as a aggressive act. A women who closes the door with the sign “Do not disturb I am working” is very provocative. So what I am saying here is when we decide to get more empowered in our lives, we take a risk to be lonely, to loose our man.
On the other hand – if that is so, perhaps our marriage wasn´t based upon love and respect, but other things. Like economy? Like dependence?
So we need to do inner work, to understand that being alone is not dangerous.
Holy crap! I got whole body chills when I read what you wrote! I think you are absolutely right. But, I don’t believe women have to choose between being sexually powerful and making money. The problem is, women begin to act like men when making money because we haven’t understood how to be rich AND feminine. This may be more difficult in other cultures but I invite all of us to explore our femininity, to still get laid (did I just write that???) AND to make money. If I can do it, so can each of you. right on Sister Johann!
Kendall
You give me hope Kendall
(I am swedishly very openspoken…)
Thank you for this Kendall.
I found the last part about making more money than a man interesting. I really couldn’t identify with this and although I still did the exercise, I didn’t get any true feelings from it because this way of thinking was not part of my upbringing, so I have no problem making more money than my man. However! What I do have a problem with is getting to a certain amount for a few months, then find myself shortly there after scraping the bottom of the barrell. One minute I have money, then next, I don’t and I have to live off my savings until it all dries up again. Then the cycle repeats itself. This happen to me time and time again. I can never keep money. What is that?
Like many of you guys, I too was/am programmed to think that you have to work hard or do a job you don’t like to earn a living. It’s how most people think and live. Not having money (or rather not enough of it) makes it exceptionally frustrating because it stops me from doing what I want, when I want. Also what doesn’t help is when my mum says people are greedy for making lots of money.
Hi – what I explain in video #2 (coming out next week) will totally clear this up for you. I’ll give you a hint – making money is not a problem for you and in fact, you are a natural leader in this regard. What IS standing in your way is fear of being ostracisized for making more than you “should.” Even to the point where you may feel embarrassment or shame for the money you create in your life. Next week’s video will go into this, and other patterns in more depth.
(-:
Kendall
I just had a thought. Perhaps subconciously my mums strict religious beliefs about the ‘man being the provider’ does affect me somehow even though I didn’t think it did/ does. She is totally, and I mean totally dependant on him and he knows it!
This is good information and revelation. I discovered through the excercise that the people I thought would feel bad were my clients and my peers- not wanting my succees to seem to be a result of their money. Even though I know what I have to share is valuable this excercise allowed me to see I’ve subconciously placed a cap on my earning potential because my heart is not to take advantage of anyone. The turning point for me is knowing I am not taking but giving and helping others! I am ready for the next video. Thank you Kendall for sharing.
Awesome insight Dee! I talk about this more in the upcoming video, how money needs to flow. People talk about money being energy but they never say what KIND of energy. Money is the energy of your life’s work. So, the more you are on your Spiritual Path (which includes fullfilling your Spiritual Money Contract) the more you will make.
Women also misinterpret “receiving” as “taking.” You’re not taking money from people! You are receiving their Gift of Gratitude in exchange for your Gift of Transformation.
So, give yourself permission to give, give, give and to receive, receive, receive!
Love and money blessings,
Kendall
HI Kendall
Your work is very inspiring and I have wanted to know what is in my way for so long!
My dad is deceased and my husband is very supportive so I couldn’t feel into your question other than …I always hit the wall on – it can’t happen for me- I will never be Oprah or for that matter you…is that because I care about someone else’s feelings- just not sure….I tried the different amounts and neither of the above came to mind-just my own doubts…I will keep trying!
Thank you again for this free program,
Hello kendall,
Thank you for sharing such great information.I cam across your site in such a seemingly random way. So far am happy to have found you!
I love the content about feminine power and the value of it.
As for the belief that women are not allowed to earn more than men…. thank you so much for guiding me towards a totally unexpected and welcome insight!
When’s the next video!
I have realised that I feel I am not allowed to earn money for the purpose of spending on pleasurable things. This comes from my dad not allowing me to earn pocket money through doing the paper deliver round I wanted to do when I was a child.
I always remember how very upset I was over this but it never occurred to me that this incident might have been negatively affecting my beliefs about money. .
So what I have learnt is that if I make enough money to pay my bills and enjoy myself I am going against my dads wishes.
No wonder I have only ever managed to earn just enough to pay my bills!
So my dad is the man whose feelings I am concerned about when it comes to money.
There didn’t seem to be an amount that made me uncomfortable.
Thanks again.
I look forward to seeing you soon!
Jackie
Kendall,
You’re awesome! Your video on money breakthroughs was insightful and on target! Your divine download on the topic ties to my research on how men and women negotiate. I shared my findings with an international audience at a conference for the National Assoc. of Women Business Owners, prior to my Successful Negotiations Strategies program, and they loved it! It would be my pleasure and honor to connect with you to discuss how our work might compliment each others so we could help and support more people transform their ideas and yours into money. I look forward to being of service! Best wishes for continued success!
Corine Wofford, CEO / Certified Master Facilitator
WOW Promotions & Consulting Services
My List came out like this in increments at each tier of earning:
1. Mother & Maternal Grandfather
2. Father
3. Boyfriend
4. Brothers
5. “Authority”
6. Best Friend
7. My Industry
8. Ancient Thinkers & Philosophers
8. God
Kendall,
Your idea that our unconscious beliefs keep us from receiving lavish compensation in return for expressing our gifts in the world for fear of diminishing a powerful “other” is very provocative one. And I agree.
For me, it feels like the big money will follow when I’m willing to come out of hiding at a particular level of being seen. As an intuitive told me, I’m comfortable being watched, but I’m not comfortable being “seen.”
My mission now is to put myself out there and allow myself to be seen, and I believe a greater level of $$ and success will follow. And yes, although he’s long gone, it’s my father that lives on in my unconscious who I don’t want to surpass.
Thank you so much for being my brilliant mentor!
xx Lisa
Kendall, I really got a whole new level of what you do and what you represent and why your work is so important in the world through what you shared in the first half of the video. Thank you!
With the second half of the video, my initial response was resistant. But, as I followed your lead, my father kept surfacing in my mind. I have been surrounded by men and male energy, growing up with 3 brothers, and always feeling closer to my grandfathers than my grandmothers. But claiming and embracing my feminine power has been my focus for many, many years now.
My father is the person in my family I’ve always felt closest too and whose opinion I value most. He also happens to have a horrible track record with money… with making it, with managing it, with keeping it. Wonderful man who had to file bankruptcy twice in my childhood, the stress of which soon triggered to a divorce after almost 25 years in an otherwise happy marriage. He is extremely creative and was also an entrepreneur for many years, which is yet another way that I strongly identify myself with him. Perhaps it wasn’t just a worry about dis-empowering him but also a subconscious desire to be LIKE him, even in his failures!?!?
I was even more skeptical that I’d have a number attached to this block, but it “popped” out as clear as day when I took the time to really ask – $60K. There is no doubt that this is a strong “ceiling” for me. — My husband was another possible answer to this riddle, but since he’s making way more money than me right now, I think I can tackle that one after I conquer this initial block. Thanks again!
Since I already make 2 – 3 times more than my husband, I am not aware of any issues in regards to making more money than any men in my life. What I did realize though was that no matter how much I make, I seem to reset to the same “paycheck to paycheck” mentality that I was raised with.
Will you be discussing how to “reset” this thinking or how to blow through this mental unconscious belief so that I can leave behind the financial stress that I keep recreating in my life?
Hi Kendall,
Thank you so much for your generosity and delivering this material.
This exercise was profound. I must say listening to you I got the person in mind and thought ‘oh yeah I know that’ but when I sat down to write this to you an extraordinary story emerged. I have deleted it now
as this is a public forum however – wow!
What did come out of it was I unearthed the perfectionism that underlies my intense passion for what I do. That if only I could make it better – it would, I would, be worth something. As a creative person, this story certainly explains a core reason why my work is so rich, but my bank account isn’t.
For me, as a woman I am fiercely protective of the people I love. And I took this role at a young age. To protect and be the one who is turned to when they need to be protected – it gives me some sense of meaning and purpose. Not earning more than these people ‘for my creativity’ is part of that protection.
Thank you I will do some work on this.
Julie
Kendall, thank you so much for this. I was just proof reading my book and adding in the final touches on my section about Money, and shifting the fear based energy to love based energy around money.
Thank you for your bold honesty on the clarity you have spoken about in this video about how men and women think around money. It’s so true. It’s obvious in the fact that so many women look for men with more money than them to take care of them.
Well done.
I look forward to meeting you in Tucson.
blessings
Taylore
What came up when I did the exercise, Kendall, was that it wasn’t about how much I made (up to a certain level), it was about “how” I made it.
When I asked what gets to happen if I make $100k, a response came back saying you can’t make $100k. I thought that was odd, as I’ve had income nearly that before. I tried to sense who it was that was telling me this and couldn’t get in touch with it.
So, I asked what gets to happen if I make$50k, and a response came back, a feeling and a thought that you can’t make $50k. I asked how about $20k, and the response came back you can’t make $20k. I thought this is pretty odd, this is not the way this exercise is supposed to be going, so I got up to go get some iced water and clear my mind to start over.
As I was going downstairs, I could sense how in touch I was with my subconscious so I asked what gets to happen if I make $10k with my coaching business, and the thought came back you can’t make $10k with your coaching business, you can’t make anything with your coaching business, and as I stopped on the stairway in the darkness I got an image of my step father saying with with my mother beside him agreeing.
They said you can’t get paid for being who you are, you can’t make a living from just being yourself and for people recognizing any talents, gifts, or abilities you have. We raised you to work for a living, you’re nothing special that you should get paid without working. Get a job, someone else will tell you what you’re worth, that’s how you’re supposed to make money, you work for someone else, not telling people you’re something special… get a job in IT again and someone will value you at somewhere near $100k.
I turned right around and came back to the computer and recorded it here. I know it’s not the exercise as it was intended, but that’s what it brought up… that it’s not okay with these parts, the parents inside, for me to get paid for just being me, for helping others without “working hard”, or for simply declaring what my value is.
It’s an odd sensation because I recognize that this was their belief about my pursuit of music when I was younger, composing and performing original music, pursuing a career as a professional musician, as well. They were jealous, because being paid for doing what I enjoyed wasn’t “work” and you were supposed to work hard for your money, like they did. I needed to get a job and have someone else tell me what to do and how much I was worth to them, that was the way you were supposed to earn money.
Wow, I hope you have an exercise to address this aspect of money energy, the invalidation of others and jealous relationships that are still at work within, affecting how we’re “allowed” to make money, Kendall.
Thanks Glenn for sharing. I have heard this thinking too: “Get a job, someone else will tell you what you’re worth, that’s how you’re supposed to make money, you work for someone else..”
I am realizing that for them, they are right. Everything that they said is/was right. (for THEM) From what they have experienced, witnessed and had been told by others – perhaps their own parents – this is true for them. In what I am experiencing, I am realizing that what is/was true for them, is simply not true for me. I still continue to let go of this conditioned belief when it pops back into my mind, but it is getting easier.
Thanks for sharing ~
*Excellence,
Lisa
They said you can’t get paid for being who you are, you can’t make a living from just being yourself….
Glenn, what you wrote struck a chord with me as well (in fact, tears welled up); I thought, as so often when watching Kendall’s video and reading these posts, “that’s it!”.
thank you for articulating that for me!
Helen
I wanted to congratulate you for this wonderful and generous initiative, it really is a pleasure to follow you now on video (before from the calls).
In the time that you mentioned in the video the theme of “who” we are emotionally stuck on the money-issue, I felt in the stomach a giant ball … I knew that you were right.
There was something important and unresolved to work there.
The first image that appeared was of my father, who always was a great family protector.
But, as I am holistic therapist, I began to look (deeper) at my paternal and maternal lineage … and also there had been obstacles.
My husband is happy concerning money and if I win more than him, no problem.
Thus, the problem is mine …
I am at this point in my life, very happy with what I do, but sometimes I wish I could stay more economic stable-smoothly during the year ..
I appreciate this opportunity, really amazing of these videos … and as always your unique-great way to explain, feel and provide explanations and teachings.
wih all my love
Ma.Celeste
Kendall,
I so love your work, you find layer after layer to peel away. Sometime during these past months of working with you in Platinum and CMMS I discovered that my old conditioning of thinking that my husband SHOULD make more than I so that I could…..(what? do nothing?) had disappeared. I never did consiously finish that sentence of why/what as it was the unconsious programming you are speaking of. Anyway that thinking totally disappeared and I am excitedly looking forward to making more than he does and dare I say it, have him work with me
But going through this exercise my mother came up – none of this is logical, it’s that programming. When I was growing up I was encouraged to be either a housewife or a secretary and to “save some money that my husband would give me for household items each month so that I could have some put aside in case he left me”. Quite frankly after visiting this little snippet of my childhood I am amazed I have done as well as I have.
So, thanks for peeling this layer – I didn’t know any part of it was still stuck in my unconsious.
As always, GREAT and AWESOME work Kendall.
Hi Kendal,
I like how you explain the unconscious $$$ ceiling and yes, I already knew who it was, it actually came up a couple of weeks ago and when it did I was so surprised by the feeling it brought up.
I also realized that the marker for me is usually when I digress in my abundant attitude about money and move into guilt about making too much. With this knowledge, I can shift into realizing the illusion.
Blessings,
Skye
Hi Kendall,
This was a very intense and fruitful exercise for me, as it brought up not only my father, not only his father, but a high religious authority and the whole church – and it gave me the opportunity to energetically clear out so many statements of beliefs and fears with the energy psychology I use with myself and others. I also continued with healing my whole lineage’s limiting beliefs about women and money – so you can see that you sparked a tremendous transformation within me. Thank you so much! I can’t wait to see what you will address in the remaining videos.
To Your Inner Wisdom!
Betty
Dear Kendall
I found your video fascinating and am so appreciative of it. Thank you.
I found it compelling as I realise that it is in my consciousness that actually the man should earn more. I know that this is madness and I call myself a feminist! Another thought came to me that I would be embarrassed to earn too much with my close friend. She would not be! It is all in my head. Wow. I will meditate on this and support myself to move through to the abundance I know if there for me and also I know I can now embrace it. With love, Marg
Wow! I watched your video on my way out to teach a women’s empowerment workshop. And for myself I am struggling with this area, I do tons of marketing, I am keeping up with the trends, I serve, I read, I train, I give and still I feel something is keeping me from what I believe God has ordained for my life. Which is to experience WEALTH! I will be working on this and can not wait to see the results!
Hi Kendall
Thanks for some great tip about money. I have just revealed some of my own money blocks as I suddendly found myself hitting a “ceiling” in how much I expect to make. I found it unlike that i could make over 80k ever. Now I know why.
Thanks for your course
Peder
pederandersen.com
Wow! I was so blown away to realize that simply earning a living wage triggered concern about an influential male in my life. I mean, we’re talking low 5-figures! I’ll go out on a limb and say that I was programmed to make under $20k!
And the reason why? Because I am earning it by following my bliss, by being self-employed and valuing my creativity – not by being tied to a job I hate. This is very enlightening, Kendall! I had no idea I was holding myself back at so low a point, but now that I have realized this, I can break on through (to the other side
Thank you!
Wow Thank you so much Kendall powerful work.
Shaneild West
Hi Kendall,
Thanks for sharing your wealth of knowledge with us about the many things that interfere with our money making process. I enjoyed the exercise (I love thinking about what gets to happen when I make large amounts of money
and while I’m still struggling with identifying the men who are “holding me back” I’m not giving up.
Thanks again for all the wonderful resources you share!
It was some shock when I identified who the influence was and what amount I was shackled to. No more. I really loved both the length and subject matter of this video. Can’t wait for the next one. The work is just starting. Another opportunity for success. Thank you.
Hi Kendall,
Wow … that last exercise was so wonderfully powerful for me! And not only from a money perspective, but also from a relationship perspective. Four years ago I got divorced (I’d previously been very financially stable and wealthy) and since then my income level has spiralled downwards out of control, so that I’m now earning very little indeed. I couldn’t understand what was happening, until I just did your exercise. Such a light bulb moment for me. Thank you so much for sharing this, I’m confident that this is going to change my financial present and future life. With much love and gratitude. x
Hey Kendall,
thanks for sharing this with us… I found it very insightful and I’m looking forward to doing the exercise you have given as a coach’s request.
my unconscious programming from an infant was that you do things for people for free* and give willingly, together with the idea that ladies do not work: they stay home in a nurturing role. So interesting and so very different to the young ladies of today, who recognise the choices they have and consciously have pleasure in making them…
sending you love and hugs
Susie xx
(*I carried some shopping home for an elderly neighbour in the gloaming of an autumn evening aged about 4 years old, and when she gave me a shiny new sixpence for helping her (like a couple of cents say) I was very excited and joyfully rushed to show my small fortune to my mother. Her response was swift and draconian – nice children don’t accept money – even though we knew our neighbour really well, so it wasn’t about accepting things from strangers – and I was made to go and return her gift to me. It made me feel terrible and the effect has been lasting to this day!)
Wow Susie, your story really struck home for me. Can we be the ones to set new examples?
That was an interesting exercise. I just realized that my money program is set for $80,000 and it is my dad that I an concerned about. I am single so this makes sense however, it was mind boggling. Thank you. I definitely want to learn how to release this limiting programming since you said she did it in the moment If we don’t release it in the moment like your client what do you suggest we do?
Thanks!
Maya
I think mine is more of a guilt issue rather than a person issue. Since my crash and burn, people with little money have stepped forward to help me. But when I had money, I don’t think I would have. People always say I was generous. I loved giving – as long as it didn’t really affect me. I’ve been shamed by people with less money who have bigger hearts. Now, I have little to give. There are a couple of people I would like to help right now, but I can’t even seem to help myself.
Hello Kendall,
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for having created this video and the ones that will follow – gratis! I don’t remember how I came across website, however, I do remember how excited I was when I read the information that you shared at the time.
I will be soon starting my Health and Wellness Coaching Practice, and I am greatly encouraged by your authenticity and wisdom. I’ve enjoyed attending your teleseminars and have always walked away encouraged.
I’d like to share a quote which I think befits you:
“A cheerful giver does not count the cost of what he gives. His heart is set on pleasing and cheering him to whom the gift is given.”
Juliana of Norwich
Thank you for cheering me along, I hope that I’ll have the privilege to meet you soon!
With blessings and gratitude,
~ Jenn
It is amazing for you to tapped into the question concerning my feelings about making more $ than a person in my life. You are absolutely right. That “feeling or concern” undermines my gift and my purpose. I can only control my own thoughts. Thanks again.
Thank you for this video and for the series to come. This is the first thing i have ever really seen from you. I really had a shift in awareness about my dollar amount. But I wanted to let you know that what was suppressing me isn’t a particular man in my life, it’s my family and culture. I don’t feel i can do (as in it is alright for me to do) better than them or to do really well. I’d feel like they’d see me as getting too big for my boots. And although i know that consciously, for their part, my immediate family will support me, i know that my extended family will resent me and be jealous. I had no idea i was even letting that be a factor in my actions and and my unconscious thoughts and beliefs so i just wanted to say thanks for the breakthrough.
Couldn’t hear your video very well. It was very low and sounded quite distant, so I couldn’t understand what you were saying. Can you up the sound as my sound is up to the maximum? Thanks.
Kendall, thank you for this remarkable video and especially the exercise you offered at the end. You are so correct about this limiting belief and our subconscious concerns relating to fear of disempowering an important person in our lives – usually a man.
For me that person is my father, who is no longer alive, but who was not financially successful during his lifetime. I have been addressing issues around how can I become successful in my business when my father was not successful. But I haven’t addressed it squarely in terms of dollar amounts.
The point I would like to share is that I believe we may restrain ourselves from making money in comparison to this particular person not soley because it would disempower him, i.e., make him feel less powerful, but because it threatens us. It is not only because we are nurturing, caring women and do not want to hurt this man’s feelings or make him uncomfortable. There is another reason, and that is, we depend on this man’s position of powerfulness in our lives, and need to maintain our view of him as as a wise protector and security provider. To “do better than he did,” or to succeed where he failed, threatens to disempower him in our own eyes. (This need not be the case, but that is how the ego may respond to the notion that we are/can be self-sufficient).
What the exercise also brings up for me – when I get to the higher dollar amounts — is that I need to examine my response to making money in relation to my grandmother, who was an extremely successful professional, regularly assisted my parents with money, and paid for my college. Do I see her as the ‘gold standard” and harbor a reticence to make more than she did? I’m not sure that it rings true, but it’s a completely new thought for me!
Wonderfully provocative! Now how do we get beyond these beliefs? I’m looking forward to your next video.
Much appreciation,
Lory
Wow, Lori – great insights…and I posted below, but what you said about your father rang true for me. (Mine is also deceased.) interesting….thanks!
Kendall, interesting exercise. Like a lot of women, probably, my husband came to mind. And, then — my mother.
My husband – - is older and has been sick and not able to make much money at all. It has all fallen on me to support us and pay enormous medical bills. Last year I earned $113,000.00 – and that is the most I have ever earned. I wanted to shout it out! I had worked so hard but I kept quiet. Husband saw the numbers and was congratulatory but I just felt resentful. I had spent a lot of it on him, which made me feel guilty for feeling that way.
Mother – - is a strong, critical, woman who always lauded over my father’s head that she saved her money, didn’t waste it (as he did), that she could handle money… you get the picture. Her voice is not unconscious in my head. I don’t want to be like her.
Just notes after listening to you. I think I will journal about this.
Pat
Kendall – thank you for this work. In completing the exercise, I found the negative messages I received from an early age about money and a woman’s role in life primarily came from women in my life as opposed to men. It really popped for me when considering the monetary ceiling amount, and realizing I’d have to step out of my prescribed social and economic roles in order to manifest at a higher level. That means opening myself to the danger of being censured or cut off from the women in the family or the society, or being the topic of negative commentary about my “getting too big for my britches” tendency. The three men who really mattered in my young life encouraged my financial self-sufficiency, though they were not able to teach me how to achieve it. The Moneta mysteries are a definitive part of my spiritual path. And I will no longer hide my light in order to make others more comfortable (monetarily or emotionally).
Blessings, Sherri
Hi Kendall,
Thanks for this. This was an interesting one for me, but for different reasons than you suggest!
At my current income level, I think the man thing is a red herring. If I was subconciously keeping my income below a level to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, then I’d be earning a LOT more than I am now. Plus, I don’t really recognise myself in your descriptions of women as I was pretty much brought up to be the son my father never had. So maybe earning nothing is a way to defy him! (I was expected to get a good degree and then a high flying job – never happened!)
However, what it has uncovered is that there is a really uncomfortable transition to get me off welfare. Whilst on welfare I’m being looked after in more ways than one – my boyfriend makes up the shortfall, and I get a lot of stuff free plus I only have to pay my creditors £1 per month. If I had an income, I would lose all the free stuff, have to pay my creditors more and probably end with less money to invest in my business at the end of it all. Also, as I earnt more money, my boyfriend would probably reduce what he pays for, so in effect, I would end up the same or worse off than I was before. I would have to times my income by about 5, before this got better.
There is definitely some unconcious programming, but I don’t think it’s about not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings. It’s more a case of I either don’t want to work and someone else can look after me (which is part of what I was brought up with – we were supposed to be upper middle class and none of my mum’s friends worked) OR I wanted to be the CEO of a huge corporation, or at least paid a huge salary for my talents. Some poverty consciousness crept in plus the path to the top became blocked. Being a pleb working on a low/average salary was not for me and I gave up work 9 years ago and decided to start a business. Ahem.
Wow – heavy sh*t!
Jane
I just watched the video. I don’t have a clue who this man could be. I will keep thinking on it and see if I come up with anybody. This is going to be very interesting. I am curious to see the next video. Sassy Connie
I gave your exercise deep thoughts and the following may be of an interest:
Being very confident woman, who has been always working in service oriented industries didn’t think of money the way you described it. I always got well paid for whatever service has been delivered but didn’t occur to me that my mind was holding me back… meaning that I could have got more gratitude reward if my subconscious mind equal $ to my worthiness.
My papa never talked about money as the most important priority. Ethos, empathy, love & happiness were, money came as the gratitude for what I gave. Maybe I didn’t equal the $ to my worthiness and this could be my 1st stumbling block.
To the second part of the exercise, I had 2 husbands, who couldn’t handle my confidence & success. Maybe that could be my other stumbling block.
Love to hear what you think. I enjoyed the video and with you an inspiring weekend.
Warm regards,
Hana Guenzl
This was interesting, Kendall. Thank you.
I think the unconscious programing can come from both genders. I think i have subconscious issues from both parents. A mother who negated my worth(s) esp. with money and asking for things, and expressing my intuition.. And a father she negated re his earning power. Distressing if you loved your father. He primarily raised me as an only child. And bred into you if its your said nurturing mother. Both my parents are passed. But as the lyric says..”the song is ended, but the melody lingers on..” Irving Berlin.
And of course society and men. I am old enough to remember the world before more women had the power we have now. It was always innate but harder to live with as there were less of us.
I always knew certain things innately, but have carried this ceiling-baggage around for so long. It is killing my life force. And all the work I have accomplished.
I am almost penniless. Whats up with that ?
Blessings to you, as you give blessings…
Elizabeth
Hi Kendall,
I know who the man/men are…fascinating stuff here. (And brava to your for calling a spade a spade with the money, men, women and power issue.)
I’ve never made more than $53,000. When I tried to go “out on my own”, I found it extremely difficult to make money. In fact, I made money “in the negative”. I racked up close to 6 figures in debt…working “hard”, doing all the “right” things…but making no money and going deep into debt…and what made me (almost) laugh, is how effortless it was to get that debt way up there…easy, peasy.
Growing up, I never had an allowance. (This isn’t about blame here, it’s about a dynamic). I worked my tail off in the house – cleaning, making beds…I even cooked. If I was sitting down when my dad got home, there was hell to pay…and yes, sometimes I’d be sitting down and the house wasn’t clean yet, or the dishes wouldn’t be done…but it’s not like I wouldn’t do them. I just wanted to sit for a minute.
If I wanted something – clothing, a piece of candy, a magazine, I didn’t have money to buy it (no allowance), and I was terrified because I’d get in trouble for wanting it – or I’d get in trouble if my mom got it for me. (I got yanked once when I was about 8 years old because I wanted to go into the gift shop with my cousins…my dad pulled me back and once they were out of earshot, I got shoved onto the bench and got a really good tongue lashing about how ungrateful I was, etc, etc. – and I hadn’t asked for anything – money, nothing.)
Sounds dismal at this point, huh? – Never really seen this in writing…ouch.
So, there’s been no connection between my efforts and any kind of return on those efforts. And, there’s a feeling that any desire I had (have) could hold serious repercussions.
What kept coming to mind was all the work I did and the connection to lack of money – all the work I did as a kid, all the “right things” – and I’d still be nowhere, unable to take care of myself or protect myself – at the mercy of others.
The message is one of impotence and lack of power…and it absolutely shows up in my money. I shut down the businesses a couple years ago – got tired of the struggle, and last year, I made very little – this year NADA.
I’ve done a lot of work around this. I’m aware of where it comes from and how my life has played out thanks to these beliefs (even down to having a major health issue at the same age as my dad, at 38).
My husband supports me and gives me money every month…and we have a very nice lifestyle – and I still don’t feel “safe” – I HATE being dependent…even though he is generous and he encourages me to ask for money if I want more. I’m better about it – but it causes me to sweat bullets. And, I realized I was concerned about making money because I wasn’t sure how he’d feel about it…he admitted that he was a bit concerned that I wouldn’t need him if I were to get where I want to go financially. (I supported myself and was debt free when we were first married.)
I know what I’d do/get at each of the money stages, and I know who I’m concerned about…I’m conscious of it, how do I step into the power that the money will bring. Or, how do I get beyond the fear of repercussions that the power would bring?
If I’m understanding you correctly, the money issue is about accepting your feminine power? So, how do we accept that power once we have awareness of where the disempowerment is coming from?
Hope that wasn’t too rambly – I’ve enjoyed everyone’s comments and insights.
: ) Rita
Dear Kendall
I find it interesting that even tho I don’t have a partner in my life, this is the response I am receiving at both $250k and $500k… a partner in the future…
and I found myself unable to find ideas around the $500k mark – I seemed to get a blank about ‘what gets to happen for me’…being a pisces child I was told not to daydream and I feel I have discovered this seems to be the block when I dare to dream about earning $500k.. Interesting!
I really enjoyed this process – it felt a little odd to be coming up with a future partner who doesn’t currently exist, yet how powerful this exercise is/was for me to have this acknowledged.
With much gratitude blessings and appreciation to you for your generosity in sharing this video with us all.. I perceive much more will come from this exercise as the days progress and new thoughts will show up for me for the $500k earnings..
with goddess love to you
Vicki
specialist hypnotherapist & empowered coach
Very powerful and made a lot of sense. It is just wonderful to see you standing there with grace and generosity, sharing all this with us.
Some guys really don’t mind you making more money so long as you spend that on the family and the children. What you called as the “Unconscious Programming.. this UP tends to make you feel that it is OK to support your family, your spouse and children, so that the guy doesn’t feel too bad about you making more money.
I have very strong desires and my internal beliefs are in line with those desires, so nothing should hold me back from earning what I want. There was a period in my life when I felt held back from becoming all that I am. It did not dawn on me until now, after listening to this video that the reason why was because it meant I would have to venture out further than some of my spiritual mentors, I simply felt a strong need to break free and fulfill my potential and now I know that I did not want to remain small so others could feel more significant. I have equal right to be significant and a great leader because it is who i am created to be.
http://www.carlaburrows.com
WOW!!! Kendall, what a brilliant and eye-opening exercise!
My first thought was that I have no trouble with $100K because I have made that in the past. However, when I really thought about it, I remembered my behavior during that period. My husband (we weren’t married at the time because of the tax marriage penalty) was drawing his retirement pension. I was also drawing a pension, but I was still working two jobs. (One in IT for the “big” bucks and one teaching part-time for fulfillment.)
I paid all of our living expenses “because I was making more money” (my idea, not his). He had always made the house payment while I paid the utilities. However, when my savings account hit a certain level, I would feel uncomfortable and make extra payments on the house.
I now see that in every year when our incomes were about equal (with him earning slightly more than I), we split everything almost equally.
Now, I’m beginning to understand my self-sabotage when I get close to making a breakthrough.
Thank you so much for this insight.
Kendall, thank you for sharing your truth. I did the exercise and realized that I am not concerned about making a man feel badly. Rather, I am modeling my mother who was/is a martyr and saint. She works harder than anyone I have ever known and for almost no monetary reward. She also does all the house work and cooking and yard work.
I have unconsciously been approaching my business with this same energy of work myself to exhaustion and push away from money. I love my mom dearly, but I definitely do not want to continue to model this aspect of her way of being.
Thank you for sharing your light!
Hi Kendall:
For me it’s my dad, although it’s not exactly a fear of making more than him — I blew past that a long time ago and already make about three times what he ever made (I make around $85K a year after bonus, so he really was never much of an earner.) Doing that has really felt like a victory over him.
The thing is — and here’s where it gets tricky. I feel stuck at $85K. I’ve wanted to get to $100K for a long time, and still feel like it’s not attainable. Behind it is my dad.
The issue is also that I want to be an entrepreneur and leave the corporate world. I am in IT, and really feel like I’m close to the top of what I can ever expect to earn given my particular skill set. Plus, I HATE working in IT. I chose it in part because my dad didn’t understand it (he likes to think he understands and decides everything) and I knew I could get to this income level. I’ve done it, and my dad’s response was “well, now I can finally be proud of you.”
All that’s gratifying at one level, but I’m miserable in IT and don’t want to stay there.
What I want is to be my own boss. My dad doesn’t think it’s possible. I am struggling to believe its possible — I’m trying like heck to believe it and some days are easier than others. I’m working on launching my own coaching practice, but don’t have any paying clients yet — it’s very new.
Here’s the interesting thing — when I kept it to myself I was very enthusiastic, then I shared my goal with my parents. My dad’s response was fear and discouragement, because he doesn’t believe I’ll make money. I’ve internally felt my excitement back off after that conversation a great deal.
I also really want to be a successful currency trader, and am studying that. I can’t conceive of telling my parents about that until I’ve shown success at it. (again, something really untouchable to my dad as he won’t understand it)
I wish I’d not told them anything about the coaching. Ultimately I want to combine the coaching and the trading, and coach other traders.
My dad has always had beliefs around “people like us” not being able to get ahead, that others will hold us back, etc. He knows how to be successful collecting a paycheck for a job, and knows he failed completely when he tried to sell insurance and real estate. He has a story that I won’t be able to pay my bills, that the taxes will eat me alive, that I’ll hit retirement broke and destitute. He thinks people making $100K or more must be doing something dirty.
So there’s the monkey on my back. I think I’ve made his fears my fears, and if I want to get to $100K (which isn’t dramatic for me at $85K at all), or higher (way higher) I need to lose the monkey.
So the interesting thing for me — I don’t feel at all bad about wanting to make a high income — like I can think of $250K and think that’s ok but lets go higher. Around $300K I feel a little nervous. But I still really embrace the idea that I should be making a lot more than I make.
Yet I’m afraid to make it? Why can I stretch to $85K when my parents never made a fraction of that, but I can’t stretch to $100K or higher?
Gina
Reading through my response I think I hit another piece of the puzzle.
I think I’ve pretty much hit the ceiling of what I think I can earn working for other people at $85K (yeah, I know I could earn more in IT, but not with my skill set and I’m really not interested in the IT jobs that earn more.)
I think the issue is that I know to go higher, I have to work for myself or take a risk of going out on my own. I’m attracted to the risk (heck, I want to be a trader which is nothing but risk) but I’m afraid of it. I’m afraid my dad’s right and instead of soaring I won’t make it.
Hi Kendall,
Thank you for being another woman in this world standing for women’s economic empowerment in a way that is true to feminine energy.
My own discoveries, through my work with the Feminine Operating System™ (a term I coined to refer to the functional expression of our feminine energy) completely confirms and affirms what you so beautifully shared in this video.
Visit http://destiny-project.com/ for more info on my work with the Feminine Operating System™.
Our greatest strengths as women are our creativity, intuition and relatedness. When we change our mindset to economically value these Divine qualities, we will become empowered around money.
Creativity:
Our nature as women is creative. We are designed to birth something new and unique into the world. Our creative ideas and inspirations are valuable.
Intuition:
The cliché of women’s intuition rests on a deep truth – our natural ability and inclination to register and process non-rational data and then turn it into guided direction to action. If we only validated relational “facts” we’d be completely clueless!
Relatedness:
Our natural design as women is oriented to perceive the connections and relationships between things, to see life as an interconnected web of inter-dependent life forms. Nourishing one part nourishes the whole, so all life can flourish.
Seeing connections and valuing relationships allow us to relate supportive cooperative ventures, to think outside the box and see new links and possibilities.
When we respect and value these innate strengths, we stand in our own personal power and authority in our lives.
It is so tremendously important that we witness other women modeling authentic empowerment. By authentic I mean doing it in a way that matches our feminine energy, instead of trying to force ourselves to fit into a male model in order to be respected and financially rewarded.
We all need feedback and mirroring. So thank you for showing up financially empowered in a feminine way! And thank you for being such an honest and graceful voice affirming the economic value of the gifts of your feminine nature!
I think what you’ve shared is so crucially important that I’ve referred my entire list to sign-up for this series. Guess I should connect with you about affiliate links, huh?
Typo correction about intuition: not relational facts, but rational fact.
I agree with some of what you say, but I don’t buy that all women are emotionally intelligent, intuitive and operate on fuzzy logic. Or, that they’re all creative by nature. That’s absurd – do you not think Picasso, Da Vinci and Van Gogh were creative!
This is just more stereotyping as far as I’m concerned. I have had some of the most testosterone fuelled men in cyberspace actually COMPLAIN that I’m TOO logical – go figure!
So – let’s have some perspective please. I agree that the more “feminine” qualities – soft skills, are at least as important as the more “masculine” analytical/sytematising/engineering and should be valued. But I do not accept that all women are creative or lack analytical ability or, indeed, that they can’t be both highly analytical and highly creative, and have high emotional intelligence. It’s about “whole brain” functioning – and I’m highly functional on both sides of my brain. Trying to pigeon hole people into “masculine” and “feminine” qualities is just another trap.
My boyfriend is an accomplished engineer with the accompanying lack of social skills i.e. the stereotypical masculine nerd. However, he is also one of the most impractical and illogical people I have ever met. Intelligence and skills do not come in neat packages that can be easily ascribed in bundles to one gender or the other. Also, people can increase their overall intelligences in different areas.
Hi, your video has helped me to link a number of things I have already known about my self sabotage. Its linked to my unconscious beliefs about not earning huge amounts more than men, but also strongly linked to a working class cultural background. This causes me to approach my business as a ‘job’ never earning more than enough money to comfortably pay my bills. In New Zealand, money success is more likely to attract envy and criticism publicly than admiration and respect. This is where the money breakthrough needs to happen for me.
Hi Hayley,
I just wanted to say hi as a fellow New Zealander I can totally relate to that idea of only earning enough to get your needs met. That is exactly what I do. I have been living in the United States for 7 years now, but family and cultural programming runs deep.
I am realizing that I am afraid to stand out from the crowd or to earn a lot of money for fear of being seen as selfish or a “try hard” as was the taunt at school.
Thanks for helping me bring this realization to the surface.
Melissa
For two weeks I have been looking at beliefs that hold me back from enjoying more money flow in my business and life.
This one took me by surprise. When I married my husband sixteen years ago I began to shut down my own spiritual power so as not to outshine his.
I knew that was part of loosing my physical sight but it just now hit me that it also plays out in my ability to enjoy the business and financial success I desire.
Thank you for shining a light into the darkness. It is time to let my own light shine bright.
Penny
The exercise was very uncomfortable and enlightening for me.
I almost broke out in a cold sweat when I contemplated manifesting $160,000 yr.
I dont think you’re theory about being financially subservient to the male is controversial at all. I think you’re drop-dead on.
I am highly interested in moving beyond my very low ceiling.
Thank you so much for this video course.
I am committed to a $ breakthrough
Much gratitude,
Laurel
The exercise was very uncomfortable and enlightening for me.
I almost broke out in a cold sweat when I contemplated manifesting $160,000 yr.
I dont think your theory about being financially subservient to the male is controversial at all. I think you’re drop-dead on!
I am highly interested in moving beyond my very low ceiling.
Thank you so much for this video course.
I am committed to a $ breakthrough
Much gratitude,
Laurel
I think you have some great info., but the volume on the you tube video is so low it is difficult to hear…. please excuse me if this is not helpful…..
Kendall, you have good information. Definitely enjoyed listening to what you had to say. However, I can’t think of anyone (man or woman) that I am concerned about their feelings in regards to my making more money than they do. I have been single for many years, but during my marriage, I usually made more money than he did. It didn’t bother me, but I always felt it bothered him. But rather than trying to better himself, he chose trying to bring me down. That was what bothered me. For the past 14 years, I have remained totally single, so there have been no other men in my life that cared one way or the other about how much money I make. The only man in my life now is my son, and he would love for me to make more money! I still think there must be something else holding me back.
Hi Kendall
Thanks so much for the video, very timely for me today.
I’m in my late 40′s and never lived with anyone or had children.. just not met the right man quite yet! I’ve been in business for 17 years as a complementary therapist and always felt I could do better for my clients and have never managed to earn more than £30,000 per annum.
My parents were married for 51 years, my father earned good money as an accountant and my mother never worked after my sister and I were born. I confess, as a teenager I rather despised her for this, losing her independence and totally relying on a man for her money. As a consequence both my sister and I were very independent and my sister, at one time, was angry at my father for earning what she considered an immoral amount of money. My sister died last year in, living with a man who chooses to live on next to nothing and I’ve struggled and been financially subsidised by my father all my working life! There’s never been another significant man in my life for long periods but his brothers helped me too and one has been very judgmental of my ability to get into debt and need help.
So, I can feel comfortable with doubling my income but any more than that and I feel might be judged but I think they would be happy for me as long as I wasn’t ostentatious and kept wealth hidden! Interesting thought..
Kendall,
Thank you so much for this information and I’m so excited to view
the remaining videos. You are quite an inspiration and I do appreciate what you are sharing with us.
How soon will the next video be ready? Question, towards the end of your video you mentioned issues concerning women making more money over their men or husbands? How do you address single women and issues concerning wanting to make more at their current jobs or in their businesses? Everyone may not be married, but women who are single or business owners may share the similar concern but centered around their worth in their jobs and businesses.
For me, I don’t have an issue with making more money than my mate, I think my issue is raising the bar for more income in my business. I would love to incorporate some money conscious strategies in my own business. How do you address this issue? Thank you.
the video did not work… i am looking forward to hear this and other videos
Shari
Hi Kendall,
Wow, this information is something I’ve never heard of before, but you make a strong point. I’m sure that doing this exercise will allow me to instantly breakthough my money blocks. I look forward to riding the journey.
Thanks!
Christie
I am still not sure that it is fear of hurting a man’s feelings if I make more money, but I know that I have not valued my own abilities and services enough. I always feel like I am charging too much, because I live in a small town (although in a somewhat affluent area), especially when I get a surprised response. I also have not taken action in my business goals because of my fear of not having enough money to meet basic expenses, now that my husband’s income has dramatically declined during the current recession. I am also aware that about 6 years ago, when I was more focused and determined to succeed, and was much more self-nurturing, spiritual etc. that I was achieving my goals much more readily and I was much happier. So I know you are right in that respect. I look forward to you next videos.
I have been your student of Brand Authenticity Program and never attended Live sessions, but only heard you on audio. You are so natural and brilliant and never shy to speak out authentically!
I am still watching min-13-14 and may have more comments coming up. Having been in management/legal field, I gave very little attention to Intuition and creativity-Where the women’s power resides.
We need to impress upon ourselves this over and over again
“A woman’s power lies in, Intuition and creativity, nurturing, desire to be supportive and be of service”
Why not work on improving on these strengths and build our life and business???
Thanks
Lalitha
Kendall,
This was great, I am always excited to look at what is going on in my relationship to money!
I made six figures last year and will do so again this year. Which represented a big breakthrough for me. But I haven’t been having a lot of desire to make more or have the next breakthrough.
A couple of thoughts and insights:
1. In terms of what would happen for me at different income levels: at $250,000 I felt I could have a higher quality of life (travel, more help, nicer things for the house) which would be nice but not radically different from my current lifestyle. At $500,000 what popped up was that I could be more “selfish”, that I could truly live according to my wants and needs, and not others or my own expectations (for example, I don’t like to buy groceries, I’ll have someone do it for me, or I want to take four retreats a year, and then do it). At $1 million, I felt I could truly live in response to my desires.
2. At all those levels, the two men that came up were my husband and my father. I have mostly earned more than my husband, but I did notice that with my big money breakthrough last year, I spent a lot on the family, and gave a lot of money away. My husband just got a new job and I see how great he feels about providing for the family at a new level, so my fear is that if I really earned a lot of money that:
* he would feel that he couldn’t compete and was less than me
* he might step back from his own creative power and rely on me
* that I might feel guilty or obligated to spend the money on family things and not on myself
My dad comes up because he really struggled with the fact that I was so creative. He felt he had compromised his success by pursuing his creative passions, and was determined to make a case that I was not able to compete in creative fields and should rely on my good brain instead (ie. be a lawyer, or go to grad school for something). So, if I move into multiple six figures, AND KEEP A LOT OF IT AND SPEND IT ON MYSELF, or go to seven figures, I would be proving that he was wrong about me, about life, about the value of my creative expression.
Hi Kendall, power packed video, thank you. Once we identify the males, how do we reconcile the “guilt” of superceding their income. I felt the breakthrough in seeing the pattern, but what do you suggest for overcoming worrying if you will about how they feel? RICH CONTENT:)., thanks and Blessings, Anne
Thank you so much Kendall… as always, you are leading the way. I did the exercise in full and was amazed at what I discovered when I was truly honest with myself. I have actually made multi-six figures on my own prior to meeting my (very supportive) husband, but for some reason (now I know why bc of this exercise
) the money I made started to drop rapidly after we met. It wasn’t until we started to make joint money (in real estate and other business ventures) was I comfortable again in making money. But now, I have stepped into such a powerful business where I get to help women grow their businesses. I want to make sure I breakthrough these money blockages and have exponential growth (and still be in a healthy relationship both consciously and subconsciously 
). Can’t wait for the new video.
With much Gratitude, Shauna
Thank you for generously offering this free video course. I’m wondering if anyone else has commented on the sound quality of the video. Although the volume on my computer is cranked to the max, it is really difficult to hear you on the first video I have watched.
I want to thank you for this video. I thought I didn’t have any issues around making money. Low and behold they reared their heads with your probing questions. I was surprised at what surfaced for me. My new awareness has allowed me to feel at peace with moving forward and I have been able to make a decision about moving ahead as I walk in the faith of knowing I am on the verge of my breakthrough. Thank you.
No surprise or controversy on this topic for me, but the way you took us through the
exercises, and the image of the arrows of conditioning vs. desire for more money was
very powerful!
Looking forward to the next video!
No surprise or controversy on this topic for me, but the way you took us through the
exercises, and the image of the arrows of conditioning vs. desire for more money was
very powerful!
Thank you so much for modeling “Feminine POWER” in a way that speaks to all of us who want to share our nurturing spirit with the world and be rewarded financially as well as emotionally and spiritually, great job.
Looking forward to the next video!
HI Kendall and everyone!
This is really cool. Apparently I still have blocks to receiving income because no matter all the programs I go through, I still find myself in the same position. I’m ready to be done with that paradigm. I’m ready to step into bigger. This has been excellent timing for me. Thank you!
In answer to the question of whose feelings would be hurt if I earned more money, I thought my husband would be thrilled for me to make more money. But, when I took the time to actually write it all out, I discovered that there was an energy about me m aking more money that he would feel “jealous” about, or start to get “funny” about it. Now I just have to release that in a bubble.
Thank you
Lisa
Hi Kendall
This blew my mind. I realized I was holding back because my husband was afraid of going into a “higher tax bracket”. And I also had old fears due to battles with my ex-husband over child support (that issue is long gone as my children are grown, but I still have that mentality of not making too much money in order to keep the status quo!). And to top this off, I have really envious siblings who like to keep up with the Joneses so I always tried to not be like them and this created an icky dynamic where I tried to appear as if “money wasn’t important to me”. Wow. Never realized how that thinking was holding me back from earning more. Time to clean house!
Thank you,
Theresa
found it very hard to watch as it kept stopping and starting throughout the video.
Hello Kendall,
Thank you for the insightful information. I believe you are absolutely correct about women’s concerns re: making “too much money” and disempowering men in our lives. I know I have felt this way in the past when I was making more money than my husband. Because my mom had made several comments to me when I started making more money than my father long before I met my husband, this kind of stuck with me and when I was making a lot of money, I would ignore how much I was making or spend without regard because I did not want to look at how my income could affect my marraige or relationships with family and friends. Unfortunately, the past several years I have found myself making far less money than my husband and having to rely on him for support which gives me the feeling like I am not contributing to our life together as an equal partner. I am slowly but surely rebuilding my income but am looking for a breakthrough that will change my relationship with money as I know I don’t want to live unconsciously with money as I did previously.
So in answer to the exercise you posed in video #1, at $100K, I would be a more equal financial contributor to my marraige and household; at $250K, I would be able to invest in significantly growing my business; at $500K, I would be debt-free, be able to share my business with others who could also make a living from helping people as I do; at $1M, I would be able to share my wealth in ways beyond just my business. I don’t see a concern at $100K because I have been there before but felt judged by my parents and my husbands parents. I would be concerned about affecting my husband when I get to $500K.
I await my shift in thinking!
Cathy
My grand father used to think that women shouldn’t be working but should stay at home to raise the children. My father used the say the same although my mum has always worked – Funny enough my grandmother became a successful housewife and my other grand mother was a successful business woman and I suspect also attracted the secret admiration of my gran da, paradoxal.
I must have picked up on my grand da and father talk bcse I have always struggle not so much with money but with independance and assuming myself financially. This has to change from now on.
♥ Dear Kendall,
SO helpful, thank you! Great to get even clearer & go deeper with this issue which I have looked at before but always on my own with my journal. There is something so powerfully transformative about having a witness & a process. Thanks again.
OK, the upshot for me is that my earnings are low despite being intensely creative, intuitive & productive in my service to others globally. I KNOW it is my pain/memory body (the unconscious mind is the interface between this energy body & our experience of the world) & the programming therein that is blocking my prosperity.
When I consider earning £100k which is a HUGE jump for me, I reach a ceiling. The person I get triggered about at this level is my late Mother. She was a single Mother for much of my childhood, a victim, not in her true power. I was programmed by her to please her, to do what she wanted, when she wanted it. If I didn’t she played the guilt card (she was ill for years) or lashed out at me verbally.
So I have realised that by staying ill & poor myself (& slightly overweight) I am pleasing her & avoiding her manipulation & withdrawal of love. She was so insecure that she regularly criticised or insulted me if I lost weight, looked good, was happy, did well etc.
She also longed for physical comforts & prosperity whilst condemning, criticising those who had it.
She died 12 years ago & I have done a load of work on this already but I feel I am on the edge of a new breakthrough with this. One that I have been praying for help with. Then here you are!
The unconscious & habitual thought/belief that is beneath my properity block boils down to: “If I don’t please my Mother, I’ll be rejected & abandoned, she’ll die or leave me”
Wow!
I know it sounds messed up when I spell it out but I also appreciate how deep & confused these deep seated beliefs can be & how ultimately if I go deep enough it comes down to abandonment & survival issues.
So I’ll be working on new mantras from your video as well my own (Eg: “My Mother is now freed from limitation & celebrates my success & abundance”) as well as doing an intuitive body scan to find the energy of these beliefs & fears in my bio-field so I can breathe into them & heal them. I’ll be using a simple EFT meridian tapping tool as well.
Thanks again Kendall so much.
Love & blessings,
Kimberley ♥
when I reach £100k
I was raised with my mother being the breadwinner. I was proud of her and in many ways she has been my inspiration for a career. However, my parents also divorced and I was told it was because of her drive and success, it made him feel like less of a man. That he didn’t have that same drive and resented her for it.
I am so grateful that I found your video today. Excellent timing, I just separated from my fiance yesterday to get a handle on what is holding me back from moving forward in my business, recognizing that a lot of it stems around not feeling worthy of asking for money for my services and realizing he is not financially in a place that I feel I can take off and pass him.
Your video was 100% on target with fragments of thoughts that I have been having around this and my relationship. Thank you for putting it into words and bringing it to light for myself and so many others.
Thanks so much!
WOW !!!
THIS IS JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO HELP IN THE BREAK UP ANCIENT BLOCKS.
TY
RICK
Oh Kendall… This so speaks to me. When you talk about not feeling comfortable with the “male” money making model, I know that is where I am right now. It feels so wrong for me, even though I am currently tangled up in it. For me, the most amazing thing about my response to this video is that when you were talking about not wanting to upset a man in your life by earning too much money, I was thinking “I KNOW it’s not my husband.” And knowing that it wasn’t him, I couldn’t think of another man that this could possibly apply to. So I was thinking, hmm, this really doesn’t apply to me. Then when you said “who is the man you don’t want to disempower” the name of my brother came instantly into my mind. And because of his powerful personality, I know this is right – even though I would never in a million years have thought of it. He actually embodies all the negative aspects of my father’s very strong personality. Deep stuff indeed. Thank you.
Caroline xx
PS I still have to do the fun bit about what will I do with all that money – but for now I have to go and cook the supper
Dear Kendall,
Brilliant video presentation! Isn’t it interesting that women once ‘automatically’ took a man’s name when they got married and the woman was considered the man’s property. Rape was legal in this country until 1963 for married men! It has always bothered me that women get their names from their father’s and then they give up that name for some other guy’s name and it is all so sad– this sort of male, patriarchal society that women are slowing rising out of!
So I had so many feelings come up about being the youngest in a big family, very tiny and sickly, very fearful and having this very, very powerful strong Mother. I always got the message that if I wanted ‘protection’ i.e. money then I must subjigate all of my personal joys and creative spirit to follow her plan.
I was a ‘good’ girl, with perfect grades, joined a good company after college, married an extremely rich ‘old money’ guy and then after almost 25+ years of marriage with a new baby at age 40, he left me for someone else. My mother’s first words were “didn’t you take care of him properly?”– like he was a pet!
So life jumps forward– and I raise three kids by myself, do consulting work and slowly I have depleted all of my reserves and because I bought into the paradigm of being a ‘loser’ because he left me… I have been unable to pull myself up and out to know that I am amazing and I have so much wisdom to share.
I can’t wait for the next video– you are amazing!
Thanks,
Mary
Really loved the video. Especially the part about stepping into the feminine power and what it specifically means. Now I am going to make the exercise and tell you later what was revealed to me. Thank you for your generositiy
What a powerful exercise! I don’t consider myself to be an overly emotional women – so I avoid stuff geared toward women (I’m not particularly intuitive). But I am in a service business, and I undervalue my service. This exercise opened me up to the fact that even though I’m proud that my business has allowed him the opportunity to go back to school and chase his dream, but I realized I’ve been waiting for him to make the leap back into work before doing more with my business. I can’t wait any more! It’s time to break through this 60K barrier!!
Hi Kendall, wow, great stuff. I know that if I make $120,000, what gets to happen for me is I reduce or get rid of my debt, and live more comfortably, away from day to day struggle. If I make $250,000, I get to live my life of desire and really become the person I want to be. At $500,000, I now get to help others I love like my mom, sister and her family, and friends, and at $1,000,000, now I have an empire that can help others globally in such a big way, not to mention the freedom and happiness I would encounter in my own life.
I think I have guilt all around making money. Now I have many times made more than my husband in salary, but have yet to bring in a penny from my own coaching business. I think there’s a guilt and something inside saying I’m not capable or good enough. Would I make him feel bad? I’m not sure, it feels like it’s something more in me. I need to think about this more. Thank you for these insights.
There is even more to your video than might first seem. Thanks again.
Am by myself now so I went to the past. Had to keep going way back.
Back to a grandmother and her more than lavish lifestyle and lineage.
Could that have have been the paragon that all that came after was measured against?
And further back and a wider pan to both sides of the family where creativity and imagination were definitely not lacking but the norm was failure in relationships, economic lack with consequent fear.
At least now I know. I have let it go from my life as not belonging to me. If it did in part, it is no longer mine. Now to take steps, even tiny ones, that will lead me to live in my power. To what I can now accept imagining will happen or something better.
And yes, I did give up a job offer that would have brought me a good position, travel and satisfaction because my first husband did not approve. I am going back to that moment that I still vividly remember and heal it then choose another time line! This new time line I am stepping into.
Hi Kendall
I have realised that my older sister is the one holding me back… mmm…some realisation.
Looking forward to the next video
Thank you
Pat
Oooh – that was powerful. I knew something was holding me back, I just didn’t know what. And oddly it’s not a man:
It’s my husband that appears on the “who would I disempower” side…but actually he’s very supportive of me, and is all in favour of me making alot of money. Where the disempowerment belief comes from is from my (strong) mother, who has always encouraged my independence…BUT there has always been this underlying ‘thing’ that I should be there to support my husband by ironing his shirts, keeping the house clean, raising the children…AND earn less than him, and I should fit my world around him and his job.
The thing is I HATE ironing and cleaning, and don’t see why I should do it…he’s just as capable as me as picking up an iron or duster! But I seem to have this thing that drags me back to being “wifey at home” rather than going out to inspire the world with my message in a big way, which is what I am completely driven to do. It’s been the school summer holidays here, and it’s been me who has had to fit my business around looking after the kids…why me??? My business is now beginning to match my husband’s monthly income!
I have a client booked on a particular date in a couple of week’s time, but now I have to move that meeting because my husband has a work jolly to go on with clients (why is my client any less important?). And I’ve been invited to speak at an event in a few weeks (first time someone rang because they wanted *me*!)…but now I have to sort out childcare arrangements. Whereas if it was my husband going to an event (he doesn’t do public speaking though), then he’d just tell me and that would be the end of it.
The thing is (rant over!!) – it sounds like it’s my husband causing the issues – and I don’t think it is. The belief comes from my mother. And, she even said recently (at a public talk!!) that the “rise of entrepreneurial women is disempowering men”!
OK, so now I’ve establishd the root cause of this belief – how do I go about turning it on its head?
Kendall – I’m so glad I found you – thank you for being the inspiration you are.
Kim (IAWBC member)
x
I would be thrilled not guilty about making more money than anyone I know – especially the ex. In fact, I do make more money than him.
i am not married and dating. I am afraid if i make too much money i won’t attract a good man and that making too much money i won’t have the time to meet someone, when in reality if i make more money i will meet someone of my caliber. Thanks.
Ohhhh. Problem already! Are the dollar amounts gross or net? It makes a huge difference in what I can do besides pay a whole lot more in taxes!
Shortly after I was married in 1970, I was hoping to finish up college that summer before we would be sent out of state for my ex’s job. My mother wrote me a letter and said, “Remember, your husband’s education comes first.”
I was hurt by that statement, even angered. I did finish my BA and later where we worked in the same company and took classes and a national exam, I outdid him! HA!
But I wonder if I imprana’d a message that I am “less than”. I already felt that way as a female.
I don’t see anyone in my life, past or present, that I would feel or have felt guilty about making more money than.
What is missing is a role model on how to make money, period.
looking forward to video’s
Hello… Kendall,
Wonderfully brilliant and impressive presentation! Well, there are aren’t any contradictions whatsoever on my part… Kendall. Your depiction of Conscious Desire with respect to Unconscious Programming is pragmatic; and, essentially this happens intrinsically all the time whenever we think about mo.ney.
Whenever, not all the time, people think on lack rather than on abundance. Whenever, we think about an object associated with mo.ney, most of our immediate response [Internal Dialogue], irrespective of our desire, might be “I don’t have enough money to get what I am wanting to get” or “I will get it whenever I achieve my desire”.
And in actuality… both of these statements are negative self-talks; and, whenever these types of statements arise with e—motions, we produce that in our reality… not enoughness. For example… what would be most people reaction when they see bills to be paid? Whatever is there reaction, they, in fact, affirm that context to be so and so that circumstance is produced in reality.
You talked about money as energy; discussed feminine and masculine powers and express these aspects eloquently. Well… money in fact is energy and all the other expressions are all different vibrations of energy.
Somewhere in history a medium of exchange was derived and that was metal; and, that metal afterwards get started called currency, which came out from the words “currere, corant and corant or current” and all these words means… flow, movement etc… and now paper money… so its no doubt that money is energy… it has electrons and there is nothing without atom and atoms have electrons… electricity.
Reagarding gender powers, well… power comes from inner strength and inner strength comes from unity with self and others. The apparent power, which is normally discussed, is raw power and is temporary. And authentic power is defensive not aggresive… it mostly seeks the saftey of almost everybody. Power is subjective and not objective… unless required in physical manifestation.
Do we not remember the story of Golith and Dvaid??? Golith was relying on his physical strength together with his… then, latest weapons. Whereas, David was relying on the unseen and ultimately defeated the other.
Lastly, Kendall, there is a woman in every man and man in every women. It matters not what gender one holds than what part of his or her being one likes to express. Besides, I am under nobody’s inflence with respect to money and all other things seen and unseen.
Again… THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
Love and brilliance!
[Mohammed Asad Khawaja]
Thank you so much for your gift.
Kendall,
I am new to you. I have been following your newsletter for only a couple months.
First I want to give you kudos for exposing the truth. Controversial? YES! Necessary? ABSOLUTELY.
I found the exercise enlightening. THANK YOU!
May I recommend a book that you may find complementary to your thoughts on Power? Its All About Power And Control
I am looking forward to your additional videos in this series.
Warmly,
Tammy
Hi Kendall, I’ve been getting your info for years and I love it. I’m a fellow horse lover as well. You have hit home here with what you’ve shared.
I already knew that my money hangups were tied to a belief shared by my mother that “people who make money are bad because they take away from those who need”. I could elaborate but enough said.
What I found fascinating was that when I wrote down the exercise (and I haven’t’ even done the fun dreaming part of what all that increased income will get me) I unconsciously wrote down what I was currently making (and have been for years). In the “feelings’ column, I wrote “no one” in regards to who’s feelings I would be concerned about! Then in the other tiers there was an interesting progression starting with my brother, then mother and brother and so on. I never had thought about my brother, but that’s definitely there!
So I”m going out for a run now to let this really sink in, and then I’ll come back and finish the dreaming piece. Thanks so much, I can’t wait for the second video!
Giddyup! Anke:)
This has been exactly what I have been looking for keys to why my income has stayed the same for the last 5 years. Of course my husband has said he would be happy if I made more money and my intuition is flying right now! A block to explore….
Being a pioneer in a spiritual business also has a tape around it that says if you are spiritual you cannot make to much money and so most of what I do is given away to those who say they can’t afford it.~
Thank You Kendall for opening my inner eyes to look at the blocks.
Your service is inspiring and beautiful.~
Yashoda
Kendall,
Thank you for the liberation. In so many ways I have been stepping into my divine feminine power in the past few months and just this morning I was wondering why I hadn’t seen any changes in my relationship to money.
I was skeptical when you first revealed the underlying conscious programming as I have always made more than my husband…until it dawned on me that it was my father and brothers. It was a very emotional exercise for me but I know at my core that this is what has been preventing me from moving beyond my current income. I’m ready to shift that programming. Looking forward to your next video.
With Love,
Julie
Hi Kendall,
Regards from Holland. I have just watched your video. Thanks! I think I have a different problem here, not that I don’t want to make more money than my husband but I don’t dare to ask more. I am too modest, I think. So I am looking forward to your next video.
Renata.
Hi Renate, I am also from Holland and I am sure we have the same problems here. Could modesty be an acceptable way to express unconscious limitations? I am sure that it is for me.
Love, Hilda
Hi Kendall,
Thank you for your gracious generosity in sharing this information with us. I did the exercise and I immediately knew who the man was this is there in my unconscious–my father. He has tremendous fear around money, and wants us to be dependent on him in certain ways, because that gives him purpose. There is a core part of me that still wants to be the protected little girl, safe from the ‘scary, cold’ world. Here is my question: I’ve contacted this before, and have been aware of it. Where does the ‘release’ come in? Even knowing this in the past, I am still not creating abundance in my life? I’m eager to break through and start living fully in my power, so I appreciate any suggestions.
Thank you!
Great Kendal thanks
I came from a working class family who always just had enough. Been an independent women for many years yet i am aware there are subconcious blocks. I have a couple of males that come to mind.
I am currently determined to make the changes I need to so Ican be free. Interesting Ijust listened to you tonight.
I find power very interesting. I am a second degree black belt in Aikido and have been practising for 20yrs. At my level the power is internal. I have realised that women have been taught that they are not as strong as men but that too is a myth. To be good at a martial art takes focus, timing and controling your mind. (dealing with your subconcious conditioning )
Brenda from New Zealand
Well, well, well. At the $100K mark I realized that my husband is a roadblock for me. I have idolized his success and achievements so much to the point that I have set limits for my own success. As in, “he’s so much smarter and better educated” and other demoralizing thoughts. Now that the light is on, I am going to work on changing things. Knowledge is power!
Hi Kendall
I’ve finally stopped to watch your videos and I’m so glad I did.
When you posed the question, I instantly knew who the man was. It’s not my husband, it’s my best friend. I never would have connected with this unconscious belief if you hadn’t given us this exercise.
I am deeply grateful. Thank you.
Adele
Hi to you all,
I have enjoyed success using my Conscious Coaching programme with Mining Executives.
It is great to have it coming back to me and placing me in the position that I often place my coachees. We all need this re-alignment of our internal compass.
This series is of high value to me as I grow my practice thank you Kendall for being not only generous with your time and knowledge, but also your experiences and advice.
regards
George
Great exercise.
My story is ” if I make extra money above what I need to cover my expenses”
My husband will not need to stay here in the city, he will go back to the country town and stay there, and there will be no fun and travel and see things and experince new ideas and have a few nice things like a good car, eating out without looking at the prices first and only having new clothes when it is a wedding ar special event.
Meanwhile, I do my thing one on one in my room and inspire others in having amazing breakthroughs for a small $ fee of time. Many have come out of their shell, many don’t get most of the new freedom and return to hiding out and I am excited to be released from my shell and to give to the world my uniersal gifts, I have so much to offer BUT it is this story of loss, struggle of having very little and no fun, I ready get anyway for me give up the story NOW, I don’t need at all in my life.
Thankyou Kendell, I did not see that one before.
Helen
Dear Kendall,
This video was seriously like a gust of wind that exposing a part of your body and you are not prepared for. You are so disarming in your presentation that I did not feel this was going to have any strong effect on me. Man, was I wrong. I am a Hispanic female. I have struggled with this issue and still struggling now. I do not think it is a “man” for me. I KNOW it is my family. I am married and my husband is not Hispanic. I feel it is my family holding me back. Even saying it and writing it I feel ashamed. I have been conditioned to think, “you cannot have it all”. Either the family or the career. I have the family but I am so driven that I know I can have a kick ass career as a Psychotherapist/life coach. But in the shadows of my being I feel if I make too much money I will be separated from my family because I will need to be away from them to make the money. It is too much to put on this post but I hope you can see what I am saying. I will continue to watch your videos. I am very afraid right now because I have just set up my blog and I am positioning myself to skyrocket. I jsut have yet to meet a real women that I can touch arms distance that she feels she has a balance between career and family. And is wealthy. The ones I hear about are divorced and no relationship with thier children (devil wears prada type not rich though). I am really struggling but still walking into the fear because I know I am so much bigger than this. I will keep you posted. Thanks Kendall. Big hug – Carolyn
I didn’t think I had this problem as my new husband fully supports me in what I want to do – and I earn more than he does now – but I think deep down I don’t want him to feel emasculated by my earning a lot of money. I believe that you are right in that I’m the one with the problem, not him. Thanks for bringing that out of me.
Gill
After only watching one and half videos, I knew I wanted you to be my coach…..
Your coaching in these videos has taught me more than the last year, including two coaches. I am ready to take it to the next level!
Thanks Kendall, you have helped me understand the frustration that I keep getting myself into – especially over the last 8 years being self employed as I keep pushing hard then having to make up for ‘progress’ by getting tired, sick, etc. My last salary package when I left the corporate world was $200K and this has been the ceiling for the last 8 years. When I did the exercise I found 2 really interesting things: going to $200, $300, $500 brought up similar issues around my husband noticing that I had more and wanting to challenge me in my choices and make me explain/justify myself to him – therefore me not feeling free after all, just more arguments. Then when I went into the $1mill range it changed completely and became conditional that I only did it for ONE year, since I should have made enough to retire on (I am already 55 years) – interesting that the idea of ongoing income was out of bounds for me! In this space I felt I would be alienated from my whole family if I did not behave in a more ‘modest’ and grateful way, once the $1mill had arrived. Then going to $2mill actually felt really obscene and I felt very ashamed and dirty. What interesting stuff!!!
Hi Kendall!
Wow, this is amazingly powerful stuff – and the timing could NOT have been ANY better for me! It just blows me away how it came right when I needed it. A friend referred me here today because this money thing all came to a head for me and I was looking for support and resources.
There are two men for me. My boyfriend, and my dad. My boyfriend may be more just because I project the concern for my dad onto him…
My exercise:
$32,000 – buy my own car, pay off money owed to boyfriend and aunt – man I’m concerned about, none.
$75,000 – all debts paid off, several trips a year to various places around the world – man I’m concerned about, boyfriend & Dad.
$150,000 – buy a house on Dominica, or wherever I decide to put down some roots – man I’m concerned about, boyfriend & Dad.
$500,000 – take my whole family on vacation somewhere they’ve never been – man I’m concerned about, boyfriend & Dad.
This is incredibly eye-opening! I guess my comfort income is around $32,000 – although I’ve never made that in my life, so maybe it’s actually lower than that?
Thank you so much for doing this video training series. It is literally an answer to my call for help to the universe and I am excited to learn more from you.
I have been searching through meditation to unearth the source of sabotage that I have been feeling in my business. I brought the question to consciousness, but it would not show itself to me.
After hearing your video and writing the question, it came so easily. My big brother. He has struggled his whole life (due to his choices) and I have always tried to downplay my success to keep him from feeling bad! I would not show my school grades to my parents until he got the guts to give his report card to them. Even now, 50 years later, I am still playing the same game.
I am a DIVINE FEMALE. My spiritual money contract is to use my creativity to help people enrich their lives by improving their surroundings and built environment.
Hii Kendall, thanks for the 1st video in your free training series which is extremely generous of you to offer to your subscribers. I have always earned more money than the two men in my life (husband and son), so I don’t have that unconscious belief. I have always been the main income earner in my family, so the more I can earn the better for us all.
I don’t have any man in my life (previously or now) who’s feelings around money I would be concerned about, so my question is: How do I know where my income comfort zone is?
Hi Kendall
I had no idea that I was protecting the men in my life …
…not surprised and don’t find it too contraversial. I am pleased that you have been brave enough to open up the topic and you have inspired me to think about things quite differently –
Thank you!
BOTH my parents have ingrained in me that it is VERY DIFFICULT to make money and it is very hard work, and only very lucky people get to succeed. No one that we know has been that lucky!
and on that note, my husband has the crazy idea that any one with money must have inherited!
He says he would like to retire and happy for me to make all the money… should
I believe him?
kind regards
Katherine
I have friends that tell me it’s difficult to make money. Thank you for disclosing this belief system.
Great exercise! From where I am standing, I was looking for halving my revenue option for the following year… GROAN… even before you went on to describing step 2 on naming the authority figure, I knew who it was… my mother! Although she did instill the value of independence, I unconsciously accepted that it was not OK for me to make money (never mind “more money”) as it would reflect badly on her (ie. dishonor her authority) and also make her look less intelligent…. So as you see, in my case it was not the man of the house, but indeed the woman!
Dear Kendall,
Thank you so much for offering us this amazing video series. I have just finished watching the first two videos and am chomping at the bit to watch the next two. (I realize that I should just take a moment to absorb the material and do the action steps first, however).
You are so generous with your knowledge and your love.
Mil gracias,
Ana Cabán
The Good Life Guru
http://www.anacaban.com
Are you joining me for the FREE call this Saturday, Sept 4?
I’ll be answering questions live, plus sharing more awesome content!
Details are:
Mo.ney Breakthrough LIVE Q&A Call
3 Simple Steps to Stop Giving Away Your ‘Mo.ney Power’
and Finally Break Free to Run Your Business and Life
From Your Authentic Spiritual Mo.ney Path
Saturday, September 4 at 3:00pm Eastern (NY) (2pm Central, 1pm Mountain, 12pm/Noon Pacific)
Dial in to: (507) 726-3200
Passcode: 91355#
Hello Kendall, thank you so much for this wonderful first video. My feedback is this; I have read the book by Paul McKenna, I Can Make You Rich, and he has some execises in this book that are similar to this. It has definitely made me think and realise that there is a man in my life that I am concerned about earning more than, my brother. How this will shift my alignment to allowing more prosperity in I am keenly awaiting! Thank you so much for your wonderful input, your generosity in sharing your learnings and for asking for feedback too. You are a wonderful inspiration. XXX
Kendall you are brilliant and so spot on. I was raised by parents who always struggled and talked about how hard money was to make. They were always afraid of not having enough money and I remember how angry they always were when they talked about money. As long as I can remember the feelings I’ve associated money with are fear, worry, anxiety and anger. No wonder I’m having such a hard time making it. I’m going to do your exercise tonight when I have some quiet time to reflect.
Thanks for following your spiritual contract by offering this free course.
Thanks Kendall, this also happens in Churches too where the minister will see himself as the leader of X amount of people. And I am sure that you will guess that the church never grows larger than that amount. In fact to go a little deeper in this, if the church head count gets to X then something will happen that the church will split, some leave and then the building to the number X happens again. Another think that happens is that the minister will leave (he will move closer to home, retire, etc.) when the head count gets to X.
So I totally agree with your money mindset and some of the reasons behind it. Thank you for showing this. It certainly has hit home with me.
I think that there is some truth in what you say about our programming from the men in our lives. I don’t think they mean to do it, but there is a perception that we as women pick up in our relationships with them. However, I don’t think I can totally fault them. I think I am just as influenced by my own belief patterns with regards to money being evil type of thing. Thank you for raising my level of awareness around my programming. I am studying to be an NLP Practitioner right now and intend to do some processes around that perception. Thanks.
This was excellent. I’d iike to make a suggestion though. As a viewer, I can’t really see the writing on the flipchart. Also you sound like you are in auditorium. Powerpoint would be better i think, and perhaps a better microphone. The content was excellent, and you are so likeable. Thank you for these free videos. I need this.
Kendall, I appreciated this exercise!
I would love for your video to be more succinct. The last 10 min were very valuable. Would you consider using a wireless mic clipped onto your lapel? I had to come inside to put you on speakers because the sound was so muddy and surrounded by outside noise. I would love to hear you more clearly and succinctly as I learn from your next videos!
Thank you,
Auretha Callison
Intuition Styling
Image & Aliveness Coaching
Kendall, I appreciated this exercise!
I would love for your video to be more succinct. The last 10 min were very valuable. Would you consider using a wireless mic clipped onto your lapel? I had to come inside to put you on speakers because the sound was so muddy and surrounded by outside noise. I would love to hear you more clearly and succinctly as I learn from your next videos!
Thank you,
Auretha Callison
Intuition Styling
Image & Aliveness Coaching
http://www.IntuitionStyling.com
Watching and listening to you, uncovered many layers of resistance for me.
I was financial planner for 17 years, and faced this issue of earning more than my husband, and or other family members. When I reached a level, that I thought was security for life, I quit the financial planning industry. The markets and my choices saw alot of my assets disappear. I am back to the scarcity unconscious beliefs that I had faced earlier, but I let them creep back in, and I added unconscious beliefs of the aging female. I am now building a mortgage broker business, and resisting much of my power. Your words helped me realize how many of these unconscious beliefs I am constantly negotiating with, and how weak the desire side of the equation shows up.
Most interesting – it will be delicious to watch the next videos. I also noticed how the nourishing and honoring of my own gratitude factors of self and others has been declining, which is also a conditioning of the value of aging people in our society.
Good video. I definitely have that unconscious fear of earning. But my husband is retired and panicked that I’m NOT earning money. All he wishes is that I would earn lots of money because he is terrified of having to support me. There is no man or powerful woman in my life about whom I feel that way – scared of overreaching and emasculating him/her. However, I know my stuck point is $65,000 at a job. And appears to be $150 (yes, $150, NOT $150,000) when it comes to my own business. Don’t know why though.
I recently resigned from a corporate career earning $90K. My reason for retiring was to reduce the stress that was impacting my health, peace of mind and overall well-being. I have since started my own Reiki practice and have been working at creating a client base.
In response to the exercise, the feelings that arise when I think of my income increasing to $180K, $250K,etc. are anxiety about being pulled back into the same stressful environment I just left which is contrary to the purposes of Reiki. I am a widow (for over 8 years now) and do not have any male or dominate female in my life whose feelings I am concerned about with regards to my income. Yet I am in total agreement with you about unconscious beliefs of my self worth and valuing the services I provide. I am interested in other insights you may have that would benefit me in breaking down these beliefs and assisting me in dealing with the conflict about increasing income versus maintaining stress levels to a minimum.
Wow, Kendall, what an eye-opening video! No wonder I used to struggle with money and my earning capacity when my former husband (the significant male I wanted to impress) spent so much time unemployed. Thank God I have moved beyond that now and live in Divine abundance. Thanks so much for your insights.
Thanks for your offering Kendall,
I do find it so true. When I was in relationship this unconscious unspoken ghost was very present.
But also I find through digging that also my mom was envious and did not want to be surpassed and made sure to put me down enough that I would not be able to. It was her own anger towards her mom and the nuns of her school year that she was transferring into our relationship. It is so weird!
Angele
Professional Life Coach
Children Book Author: https://www2.xlibris.com/bookstore/book_excerpt.aspx?bookid=54273
Hello Kendall. Thanks for this great video and its content. You come across as a sincere and genuine person. Its very refreshing to see such a person talking about money.
thanks. looking forward to listing to your video’s.
I am so excite and grateful to have crossed you path. Today I have been blessed with answers to my questions and desires.
I love your honesty, and speaking from your heart.
Thank you so much for this lovely gift.
I am so looking forward to each video.
Now I want to reflect on those first question before I go on to the second one.
I am not a coaching person, but I still loved the video. I have been on Social Security Disability for the past ten years and work when I can in my husband’s and my business. Your message helped me to peel another layer away and I found some very deep messages – that I want to be taken care of and that the best part of my life has passed. Balderdash I can now tell myself as this hidden agenda has seen the light of day. I have times when I feel like the helpless child, as I imagine we all have, however, the more I find out about my unconscious tapes, the better I can comfort myself and move on with my life. Thanks! I look forward to more.
Looking forward to your seminar in Tuscan.
Blessing to you Kendall and all of the brave and courageous poeple who have decided to take this plunge into healing our relationship with money.
I have been waiting for this kind of guidance for a long time so having it here is a bit overwhelming but I am committed to healing myself and having a healthy, joyful and proserous relationship with money.
When I did the exercise the person came up instantly. It was my father. But I didn’t really feel much emotion or internal response to that. Still I put it down. Another person that came up was my brother. We don’t have the best relationship as I always feel he has resented me for certain reasons which include us having the some mother but my father adopting him when my parents where married. So making more money would most likely add to that resentment. Not to mention the fact that my life and the way I live it is practically the complete opposite to how he lives his. Still, while it surfaced and I put it down, I still don’t feel completely connected to these understandings.
What really spoke to me during the exercise was writing down what I would do with the money I made. One thing I wrote was send my family to Italy. This stirred up lots of emotions. Primarily guilt. I feel I have “inherited” my money issues from my parents and I see this still to this day as money is still a strong issue for them. So what I am thinking is perhaps I have resentment to them for teaching me these horrible money habits and feeding me with this money energy that I want to send them on this trip or be able to pay their morgage off because I feel guility for the hidden feelings of resentment. Hmmmmm perhaps.
The interesting thing about all of this is that I feel disconnected to all of these understandings. They are certainly coming from somewhere but I am not sure what it all means just yet. So this is what I’ve got for now.
Thank you so very much for giving me the oppurtunity to work out my stuff in this way. I feel this processing is really valuable.
Much love and many Blessings,
Brittany~
Wow! I have a degree in Psychology but it never occurred to me to look at the why of my financial glass ceiling. Thank you for this great video.
Thank you Kendall!
Ali Brown announced your video series at Shine 2010 when Richard was up on stage with her. I was intrigued as I LOVE working from the inside out. I currently have a six-figures coaching business. I am inspired that you have a seven-figures coaching business. Your coaching exercise from video 1 helped me see what is truly important to me and REVEALED my TRUE feelings. I won’t share everything because I wrote a lot however I’ll share what my UNCONSCIOUS patterns were around making $1,000,000.00 because I know the power of healing from posting on your blog is going to be greater than my shame about my underlying THINKING…
What happens for me if I make $1,000,000.00? I feel massive relief, like I won the first race. I feel accomplished that I am enough and then I start looking bigger and at all the things I can’t have and how $1,000,000.00 won’t buy me the $3,200,000.00 house I want and that if I bought a brand new Porsche Panemera Turbo that there’d only be $800,000.00 left. I’d feel wealthier than I am. I’d start to feel overwhelmed and not able to get a handle on the reality of my money because a million dollars seems like a lot but when I think about all the things I’d like to have, it’s not that much. I’d be living in a 3-4 bedroom luxury apartment in Brentwood or we’d put down $400,000.00 on 11937 Sunset Blvd and pay a monthly mortgage of $7,000.00 per month. I’d worry about my business slowing down and that maybe I was lucky and be scared that the business could collapse and that we only have a few hundred thousand dollars left and I’d be scared that I’d recreate my impulsive shopping pattern and blow $300,000.00 on buying the wrong things or making investments in things I shouldn’t be investing in. I’d be like “cool, I’m a millionaire on the surface” and “oh it’s not all it seems to be in reality”.
I got to a place of peace at having an income $16 million because I’d bought everything I wanted and found that what was most important to me is my relationship with my son, husband, family and friends. TODAY, I had wonderful play time with my son and sold a coaching package for $18,000.00
Many blessings,
Joanna Garzilli
Ok this is wild fabulous stuff…Kendall and I thought I had done and seen it all and even then I knew that there was this issue for me around success and my relationship to my father…out growing him emotionally, financially etc. My individuation process has been like ‘abandoning the family’ in their eyes! I can see how there is another layer to this around success. and my glass ceiling…Also…this is WILD:
I got chills during this video as I remembered a painting I created while in a meditation retreat 2 years ago that acknowledges this very issue and opportunity! WOW…crazy divine feminine magic. I will have to email a pic of it to you. Its pretty right on the money…ha!
gratzi and much love for sharing such richness!
Melissa
Wow!!! I haven’t done the exercise yet, but I realize that subconsciously I’ve been holding back on doing better financially than my husband who I separated from for some years now. Thank you! and I’m looking forward to learning so much more from you.
Hi Kendall
Thank you for sharing this information, which I am finding very interesting and valuable. Freeing and identifying the value of the Divine Femine is so relevant, particularly at this time in the world’s evolution ! Realising our unconscious patterning is so powerful, and it creates the opportunity to disconnect/change that belief system to something better. I really connected with what you have explained about programs that cap our earning levels or even stop you believing in your own ideas – thank you for being so brave to bring it up as it showed me this aspect !
Hi Kendall!
Thanks for sharing all this lovely information!
I can relate to the whole “rich woman is not good” type-thing. Although I don’t believe in it, I know some do live their lives that way and believe it to be improper and unlady-like to be powerful and rich.
I’ve had a rather “unconventional” unbringing, and I think many of these so-called “values” and unsconscious conditioning fell through the cracks (all the better for me, right?).
Could it be then, that lacking a Man to be afraid to “surpass” or “upset” with my powerful lady riches, could it be that what I am afraid of is more metaphysical in nature? Something along the lines: “Making xx$ is a sign of not being spiritual but materialistic.” Could that be it instead?
I really want this money breakthrough. I need it, actually. It just seems to me that if I can’t get this first step down, though, I won’t be able to go further.
So, if you would be so kind as to let me know if this is possible, I’d be very happy.
Warm hugs,
LaPoune xx
The issues are truly global. Just spoke with a client from Singapore and its an issue there as well. We need to send this message cross-culturally!
Thanks.
Hi Kendall,
What comes up for me from doing this exercise is the man is my husband, but it’s not so much about him being concerned that I’m making more money than him, but it’s about his fear around me not being available to him because my attention will be given to my business and making all that money, and less time for him to spend with me!
I find myself not doing things in my business to get it off the ground, procrastinating, especially if he’s in the house because I fear I’m too engulfed in my business and he will be resentful somehow. There is a huge huge fear of failing in front of him so I continue to stay small and it makes me absolutely crazy and frantic, like I want to plunge forward and am stuck in quicksand all the while opportunities are in front of me and I can’t move forward to engage in them or I am so overwhelmed with what I should do first I don’t do anything.
Lots of things to work through, figuring out which one to tackle and how to tackle them is overwhelming!
Thanks for your insights and hope they will rub off on me…soon!
Thank you for this video gift. For this process brought up for me deep down burried fear of hurting my father and my mother by making more money than them! Plus additionallly being completely abandoned and disliked.
I have been in the shadow of many thoughts about my business. I have some kind of belief that people can’t afford my services or that I’m not worth very much.
I starting scanning the people that I knew starting with my father and I didn’t get any kind of hit on that even though I didn’t have a great relationship with him. My dad was missing from my life in many ways. There’s a start for a worthless feeling about myself. Then I decided I was going to one by one scan my relatives and then all at once my brother in law slipped into my conscious view and there was a lot of energy there. It felt glaring. I started to look at what I might feel if I made more money that he did and what I got was I didn’t want to make him jealous and the same for my sister who married him. Then there is mom, there we go again! I would also make her jealous, because then would be getting or doing many things and that would make her feel bad about herself.
When I started checking out what I could do with the increasingly larger amounts of money my world got bigger in many ways, the first of which was to be able to get the things I needed to give back to myself, to spend more time with my family, to have more than just the basics handled in my life. Then there was an explosion of what I could do at 200,000 dollars that felt so expansive. I could really see into my love for bringing healing into the world. I could feel the positive energy flowing and it was very exciting. As each increasing amount changed exponentially larger so did my power and my creative expression and my ability to help and inspire more people world wide.
It it an excitingly revealing exercise!
Kendall this was a huge eye opener for me. I’ve been studying James Arthur Ray’s training lately and he talks about everything you are talking about so I followed you perfectly. You take that and focus on money, which lets face it- nobody really wants to talk about it! Sure people will tell how to make more of it but nobody really talks about how it affects you. I’ve been struggling with a lot of issues over the past year and like most women discovered I didn’t find the worth in myself. I thought I had self-esteem and I guess I did in most areas of my life but I didn’t feel worthy of success. Even in this last month I thought I was doing well. Like I said I’ve been studying James stuff and with one of your students Elizabeth Purvis. I’ve made huge leaps with their help but I still hit the ceiling. I’ve been trying to figure out why? Well this exercise told me why. I am afraid to make more than my husband. I am actually worried I will ruin his self worth if I make more money. I feel like I would be taking away his power to control our lives. I see it in so many things I do in my life with him. Thank you! Just knowing this I now have my power back. I have also done this with other areas in my life and realize that I’ve been holding myself back because I’m afraid of how it will make other people in my life feel. I thank you again because now I can move forward and truely be who I am suppose to be!
Thank you for sharing this information.
What came up for me in this exercise was not a specific person at least I did not have an “aha” to that effect. For me it was more my conditioning throughout my child hood, i.e. money doesn’t go on trees, you have to work really hard to achieve anything as opposed to being connected to source. The other realization is whether I deserve to have lots of money based on my programming and life experiences during my upbringing. Family members in fear of there never being enough.
I am looking forward to the next lesson.
Wow! I had to stop the video when you said, I will be paid for my service and creativity… what popped in my mind was that my Mom didn’t get paid for her service and I felt unappreciated for helping her as a child when my Dad and brothers got to just sit around.
So that was an ah ha moment… and that’s just the beginning of the video series.
Thanks.
Kendall,
I have no idea if it is something wrong with me, but I am a woman and used all that masculine powers that you talk about and was successful in achieving my goal. I also always was so much against making woman anyhow different from man and especially making woman as a service to others (well, to men obviously). Even though I understand what you say about feminine power (and I like to use it quite often too), but very often women can use masculine part just as good as feminine. I like being sometimes bottom line like, get it done one way or the other – like men, you would say? Maybe I am different generation, but I grew up with the feeling that I can do more than man! In my class girls were always those who get better grades, who were more active in social live, and so on than guys. I love looking feminine like and even cry sometimes, but again it worked quite often to be just as rough as men in certain situations. Yes, men are bigger and can lift heavy items, but this is 21st century – century of machines and technologies, all those “heavy lifting” jobs can be done by machines – all you need is brain!
Btw, I admire your courses on event marketing! There is so much to learn from you in this direction.
Hi Kendall, I am very much enjoying getting acquainted with your work! which started with Bill B’s series of free seminars this week.
My own insight which came right at the end of your video is this. For women whose earnings-inhibiting figure is someone from a previous generation — father, uncle, matriarch grandmother with a trust fund — the earning-cap NUMBER itself might be something they recall, even subconsciously, about Dad’s salary 20-30-40 years ago. Since the whole economy ran on a smaller scale then — a loaf of bread or a tank of gas for pennies — $40K a year was hugely successful. If that number itself, rather than their overall standard of living, is stuck in the back of their heads from childhood, think what its effect is today, when $40K is minimal. Interesting, huh?
As an aside, as a voice and performance/presentation expert, I’m making lots of observations about the ways successful entrepreneurs like you present themselves in webinars and teleseminars. You do that unusually well among your peers.
I do have a couple of tiny observations I could share if you like. Just email me.
Looking forward to seeing and hearing more of you as I start my own perfect business!
Warmly,
Danielle
Thank you for bringing this subject up. I’ve never linked or defined what I’ve been given freely as power. Creativity in arts, music, design, intuition etc. I was raised to nurture, and my older brother to make money. I used to ask why he was allowed to have a newspaper route way back when we were in grade school. I was told he needed the money for something special he wanted to do. So he could earn money and I could help out with the chores and get a pittance of an allowance. The belief that woman need men to support them is still affecting me today and I just recognized it last week.
Consequently I’ve not been a wise business woman, that a man’s business. Basically I’ve somehow equated being feminine with being subservient. My last employer, a woman, millionaire, owned her own company and treated all the women who worked for her with a heavy hand and she was always sweet with the men. I refuse to be like her. I’ll continue to dig until I am released all of these erroneous beliefs holding me back and they’re coming up fast and furious.
Thanks so much for the needed nudge and the insights into the Divine Feminine.
Bless you
Diana
Interesting enough I got women who came up for this exercise.
I don’t have a man in my life right now, I am divorced, single, my father is deceased. But I did the exersize and asked the question anyway to see who or what would come up and what surprised me was that the women in my life came up.
1. An older sister, that because I am the younger sibling that I shouldn’t “outshine” her? or something along those lines, it may need further exploration.
2. Mom, also came up. But I think what comes from her is more the idea that its “wrong” or even “shameful” to make lots of money or any money for doing spiritual work. I do a lot of spiritual coaching in different forms.
3. Friends?
Thanks for your help delving into this. Looking forward to more of the videos.
Blessings, pat
Hi Kendall,
Hello and Thank You for sharing your gift! How wonderfully inspiring to see a woman standing in her Divine feminine power speaking from her authentic self. I came across your website at the perfect time! I had reached a point where I realized that that my self worth was not reflective of what I have to offer and as a Creative Entrepreneur understood that I needed to get this sorted before beginning to rebuild my empire!!
The wealth of information that you have shared in just the first video has me chomping at the bit to view the others! To answer the exercise you’ve given:
The who are my grandfather … gambler – belief that money is dirty and evil … my ex-husband – belief that their is never enough and the making of unwise decisions, which comes from a place of lack … and lastly my family – women give up work to raise their children, men get a good (normally laboring) type of job and one lives on what he brings in. The overall theme behind these is that you don’t take risk and if you do you will be sorry! For me, just to do this exercise and realize that all these areas had an underlying theme associated with risk taking is huge … I am a risk taker (well then again it’s not a risk really, I just have a dream I want to live)! And up until now have always ended up in debt and felt out of control when I have taken the risk when following a dream of mine. WOW!
The notion that my programmed earning is somewhere between $48K and $86K is, well after this exercise, just somebody else’s notion. I feel the concern that is behind this amount is that with the man meant to be the main provider in my life it would be disrespectful to him and take a risk and .. oh my goodness … prove him wrong!
A big insight and a big step forward – Thank You I can’t wait to view the next video.
Blessings,
Michelle
Hi Kendall,
Thanks so much for sharing this information! I really can’t express in just a few words at how much this has helped me. I didn’t really even have to do the first part — I was making notes while watching the video expecting to go back and do it afterward. When you came to the part about the powerful authority figure and I was writing the notes, immediately 4 majors incidents came to my mind:
1) I got fired when I made almost $200,000 with one employer. The VP of Sales didn’t like this one bit.
2) I developed an auto-immune disease when I was making huge money with another employer.
3) I was working on a contract basis for a very famous person in the personal development field. I also entered into a licensing contract with him for which I paid $75,000. He never gave what was promised and when I asked for my money back, he stopped the original contract and kept the money from the failed licensing agreement.
4) Last year, I had another contractual agreement with another company for $100,000 with a $50,000 bonus to be paid if I met certain benchmarks. When I did, the owner reneged and basically fired me as he didn’t renew the contract.
After the first 2 incidents, my set point dropped down to $100,000. There was certainly a lot of reason to struggle financially and certain not go above $100,000. If you hadn’t shared this video, I might never have realized what had happened.
I am so deeply and profoundly grateful!
Susan
Hi Kendall
Thank you for the superb call with Bernadette and the first of your 3 special calls. I have been doing a lot of work on mindset for wealth creation but I hadn’t come up against the question that you asked. The answer was a real surprise. I have asked myself the questions about the amount of money and nothing flags up. But I have thought about this disempowering question and was completely baffled as to why I thought that! I am now looking forward to the 2nd video. Many thanks Kendall.
I am so excited with your information and the exercise. The concrete suggestions to work with mindset are empowering. I’ve been aware of the discomfort when ever I made more money than a man I was with, but had not been aware of its source. I also have explored the Divine Feminine alot and knew I needed tools to clear the conflicts regarding money, work in the world and owning my power.
I am still working with the exercise. The first quick run through stunned me with the intensity of feelings arising around the men I identified. I was both excited and shaken. I called a friend to encourage her to listen to your talk and the video, because we discussed these frustrations with “not enough income” and I know she will benifit.
First I want to say a big thank you for sharing these teachings so generously. I found you through listening to the Divine Feminine Entrepreneur series. Before I share my response to the ‘homework’ I just want to say that the audio is very very low. Even with my speakers a full blast it was difficult to hear your voice. But nevertheless I paid rapt attention.
So, I am one of those people for whom it is woman in my life…my mother who was a beautiful powerful woman as well as being filled with rage at life. I’ve often said that if my mother had put her creativity and energy to good use, she would have become Canada’s first woman prime minister! So making the kind of money I want would a) negate her assessment of me as being of no worth and b) ‘if mother couldn’t make it, what makes you think you can?” of course as this comes to my awareness I realize that a) I know I am of great worth and b) nothing is holding me back but my old ‘stuff’.
wow! who knew? thank you, thank you for this powerful enlightening and life changing exercise.
walk in beauty,
joceline
Thank you Kendall for turning a light bulb on in a dark corner of my mind. I knew right away without question who the man is: my dad, a kind, good, gentle man, who was 56 (and my mother 40) when I was born. I never knew him without white hair. He died when I was ten, but what an impact he made on me because I was the apple of his eye. A sensitive child in tune with my surroundings, I watched him struggling to make a living, enduring poor health, tired and dreading most of the time, hating his life and living in near poverty with my mother and I. He died on the job as a delivery man – having a heart attack. He left my mother with nothing. Then I watched her struggle for years but thats another story. He had let a few lucrative, low risk opportunities slip through his hands (3 that I’m aware of) that would have set him up for life. Even though we are talking about the 1960′s so it is relatively speaking, we could barely afford $60.00 a month for rent. As his only daughter I’m now in my 50′s, following in his footsteps so it would seem. My income is so low I’m embarrassed to share the amount. And I, too, have let at least 3 lucrative opportunities slip though MY hands, each one I deeply regret and chastise myself for almost daily as I endure low self esteem connected to my earning capacity. I was very excited to learn this concept and feel the truth of it. I’ve known I need a breakthrough somewhere and this might be a key. Thank you.
Wow Kendall!!!
This video really struck a nerve for me! I did lots of money mindset work in the last year and to tell you the truth, what you said in this presentation isn’t the first time I am hearing it. But maybe the way you presented it or maybe the right timing or both, I don’t know, but I am in tears and having a major breakthrough!!!
The mindset that really cripples me in this case is a belief that if a woman is making more money than her man, she doesn’t value herself enough and she should leave him and find someone who makes more or at least as much as her. This belief was bread in me by my mother. I was so angry with her when she said that I don’t value myself for picking the man who makes less than me. But subconsciously I have been sabotaging my success by focusing on helping John build his business, which is not my calling, out of fear of him getting too far behind me. Otherwise I would have to leave him because if I don’t, I supposedly don’t value myself enough. Crazy, but true. And my figure of comfort is $100K. I knew it all along, and this exercise confirmed it for me yet one more time.
Kendra: Your second video is most perceptive. I sell an Accounts Receivable Management Service in my business and it is up to me to offer what the people actually need, not to decide in advance that the people cannot afford this…I think that you presentation #2 was quite insightful!….Bob
Awesome content, Kendall – thank you so much for sharing such powerful information. What a relief to find out that my Unconscious Programming was that it was wrong for me to earn more than ANY male member of my family. I have 2 young sons and their “income” is about £50 a month from Child Benefit….how small have I been playing?! Time to start fulfilling my Spiritual Money Contract! Thank you again – I value what you have offered and I receive it!
Hi Kendall
I think you have hit on something for me that I hadn’t seen in quite this way before. I was a work at home mum for 14 years and then when I became employed I was driven to succeed. I loved the company, the environment and the fact that they paid well so I gave it everything! In two years I was earning more than my husband who had supported our large family. By the fifth year with the company we had separated and eventually divorced. I have never had that kind of financial power since. I then had a significant relationship with a millionaire I could never equal his success and experienced no power in the relationship and I eventually ended the relationship. I am now married and have made myself virtually dependent on my husband. I have felt stuck for so long around the area of money – its like they (my men) have it but I don’t and can’t have it. I am looking forward to doing the exercise. I think a breath of fresh air is coming my way!
I didn’t have a problem until I made more money than my husband. I was thrilled at how much I was making without any thought whatsoever as to how it compared to anyone else. Then my husband expressed how he felt and I have never made more than him since. And doing the exercise I find my two brothers at different price points and my competitive side smiles at making more than a certain one of them. And typing that last line I just had the release. Thank you so much.
I had this experience back in the 1980s when I was an extremely successful stockbroker. The abundance of $$$$ coupled with the high adrenaline of the times overwhelmed me. As a result, I shut myself down and gave away much of my power.
As a stay at home Mom wanting to start a business and craving creating and recieving appreciation for my gifts, this is valuable info for me right out of the gate. Since my income is currently zero it is hard for me to imagine making more than about 12K without making some waves! My Father actually came up as one who might be affected in our relationship if I made a lot of money, even more than my husband. While he would be excited for me, I think it would make him feel a failure (he has always struggled to make ends meet) that he could not do that too. I also worry based on my conditioning growing up about whether I would be able to stay humble and acknowledge my dependence on God and show my husband that I appreciate and need him if I make money and am able to provide for many of my own needs and desires (still knowing logically that all the money in the world would not replace those relationships and all that I need from them). I have work to do to clear away these beliefs so that when I do set out to make money I can succeed and feel joy in creating that. It excites me to envision it, but there is a little fear there too. thanks for sharing this.
In doing this exercise, I felt great about what get’s to happen to me if I make X amount of dollars.
I did not feel concerned about a man’s feelings about me making more money as everyone I thought about who is or has been a man in my life would genuinely love me to succeed.
However, I did uncover a very potent belief regarded to how I serve… part of my service:
My unconscious belief is that I serve a man by letting him feel he is more than me… as my service to him.
Hence, if I grow my money I am going to grow me and then “Dad” or whomever – is out of a job and moves into powerlessness. And, I do not like to disempower anyone, man or not. I do not want to feel responsible for disempowering anyone, so I’ve held myself just under the radar in terms of appearing powerful. And by powerful, I mean shining me. But the truth is, my Dad wants me to shine, he just likes to fix things and if I am still “broke” then he can fix me… wow. Ok there it is…If I am broke then he can fix me and then he still has a job with me. I keep him on purpose by being broken then he feels powerful that he can fix me. So I guess I do care how he feels. The truth of it is, I never liked it when my Dad was trying to fix me. It felt weird and uncomfortable so I resisted his advice and he took offense. Because my truth is, “Dad I don’t want to be broken and I don’t need you to fix me, I am fine.” Yet, I guess I bought into his need to fix things. I let him think I was broken and I let myself down in order to put him up where he felt on purpose with me. Otherwise, I don’t know what his purpose is with me and I am not sure he does either…
If my father’s purpose is not to fix me, then what is his purpose in my life? I am not sure yet, have to sit with that one.