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Does Money Jealousy Have Its Green Eyed Grip On You?
May 25th, 2010 by Kendall
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Feeling jealous because one of your friends can afford a designer haircut isn’t likely to put a crimp in your day. But, feeling the bite of jealousy when you hear about someone else reaching six figures or even seven figures, selling out their workshop or filling their programs can do more damage to your business — AND to your self-esteem — than you might first imagine.
No woman wants to admit to feeling jealous. Unless you’re in a reality television show, it’s not an emotion that society values or holds in high regard. Which is why many women are reluctant to admit to feeling jealous, preferring instead to stuff down their feelings, paste a smile on their face and exclaim, “Oh, I’m so happy for you!” when they hear of another’s success, while all the time, inside, they’re feeling the burn.
But, if seen in a positive way, jealousy can help you break through a major obstacle that’s been standing between you and making more money.
Here are three simple ways you can transform feelings of jealousy or envy so that you attract more money into your life. I suggest reading these tips even if you rarely feel envy’s burn in your heart. You’ll be surprised at how subtle this green eyed monster can be in trying to rob you of the gifts of peace and freedom…and prevent you from healing your relationship with money so that more of the GOOD green flows into your life.
Tip #1 The Thorn of Envy Can’t Grow In A Garden Of Gratitude
Gratitude is one of the purest, most Divinely inspired emotions we can feel. My advice is if you catch yourself feeling envy or jealousy, immediately switch your focus to what you have in your life. Be sure to do more than just skim the surface and instead, dip deeply into the well of gratitude, allowing your heart to feel overflowing with love and appreciation for every person who loves you, who listens to you and who wants to invest with you in your business.
Tip #2 Jealousy Is A Mirror For How Big You Are Letting Yourself Grow
When you’re feeling envious or jealous, try asking yourself:
“What am I afraid of losing?”
Jealousy is an emotion of contraction and limitation. Chances are good that when you feel it, it’s a sign you’ve been holding yourself back, afraid to move forward and fulfill your purpose.
If someone else is growing fast on the outside, it’s likely they’re growing quickly on the inside, too. To help you accelerate YOUR growth — and reap the rewards that come with these leaps forward — pinpoint where you’ve been holding back, afraid to make an important move with your business (or even in your personal life). This is the time to face a specific fear and move through it. Join a coaching program, consult with a mentor or seek support from someone who is more successful than you are so that you can quickly shift into the new, more confident and prosperous YOU that is your destiny.
Tip #3 Stop Telling Your Old Tale…It’s Time To Tell A New Story Of Success
What is the tale you tell when you’re feeling a smidgen envious or jealous? Don’t succumb to letting your inner voice convince you that other people have all of the luck, that others are better than you or that you never get the same opportunities. This kind of tall tale telling will only serve to keep you small.
Feeling Jealousy Or Envy Means You’re Ready To Become A New, Higher Version Of Yourself
It isn’t the shoes or the purses other gals have that you envy; it’s who they are. Instead of coveting their success, it’s time to create your own. Here’s a great exercise that will help you:
- Think of someone you feel envious or jealous of
- List everything they have that you would like for yourself (you can include things like money, a bigger list, greater popularity, etc. as well as items such as a nice house, a happy marriage or a better car)
- Next to each item on this list, candidly write the answer to this question, “What will I have to let go of to get that?“
- Lastly, next to each item on your list, write the answer to this question, “What will I accept or embrace into my life to have this?“
This simple exercise will save you years of frustration and misspent energy, helping you to let go of all of the old story and the old stuff that are keeping you from enjoying the exciting financial riches of the life you are meant to enjoy!
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Kendall - this is just to thank you for your personal reflections, the gift of being technologically unplugged that enabled you to be more spiritually and intuitively plugged! I believe this is how we were meant to live-completely aligned, centered and grounded in oneness with Source.
Brava to you and your insights from this experience!
High Priestess
Comment by Harriet — May 25, 2010 @ 8:29 pm
I echo Harriet’s sentiments about your personal reflections. My own spiritual teacher recommends limiting daily time on the computer. I really felt this was silly and woo woo until some changes in our computer system forced me to sit down with pen and paper. I was amazed at the amount of untapped inspiration that flowed onto the paper. And I was able to easily map out the chapters for a book I am writing for my new niche. As I mapped out the chapters, I saw how each could easily be multi-purposed. It was amazing! Now you will find me with pen and paper everywhere I go in case inspiration strikes.
Blessings,
Juliet
Comment by Juliet Oberding — May 25, 2010 @ 11:38 pm
Personally, Kendall, I think you’re writing just for me! You always seem to reflect whatever it is I’m going through that week in your blogs!
I’m ashamed to admit that I do feel envious of some of those who have made it, whilst I’m on the way up (and go through struggles). But - this is the first time someone’s given me a practical exercise to overcome this issue - so thank you.
Comment by Kim — May 26, 2010 @ 1:06 am
I love the suggested exercise - especially the question: “What will I accept or embrace into my life to have this?“
Even if you’re feeling admiration rather than jealousy, these are all great questions to ask.
Comment by Nina East — May 26, 2010 @ 7:54 am
Really enjoyed reading this. One practice I find very illuminating is to remember that everyone is a mirror of my inner self. You have captured this so beautifully with your words here. Ditto to Juliet — I also journal regularly, every day, even if it’s just a quick check-in. Energy comes in and through me when I write, rather than just flowing out as it does w/ the computer.
With gratitude!
Julie
Comment by Julie Gabrielli — May 26, 2010 @ 7:56 am
Thanks, Kendall. Such a great reminder to stay in the conversation of gratitude, or appreciation. I find, like others, that it is a place of generative conversations, and sets the tone for my day.
I also use this questions to break up the negative conversations, thoughts and energies that some times swirl around: “What is one thing that I love about my life?”
And I always answer it for myself. Today what I love about my life is having the time to sit on the porch in the afternoon sun and listen to the songbirds.
With regards, Alice in Atlanta
Comment by Alice Smith — May 27, 2010 @ 9:04 pm
Great article.
Whenever I become aware that I am envious, there is disruption in my body’s energy system. Actually, we tend to feel small and Not good enough about ourselves and hurt the child in us. To clear and restore to normalcy, I sit down immediately and do the following and it works for me.
1. Thank God and myself for every small thing that I have in this moment.
2. Take deep breath.
3. Forgive myself and the other person for feeling small/bad about myself/hurting the child in me.
4. Do EFT to transform the negative emotion -envy to positive emotion-feeling liberated.
Comment by Lalitha Brahma — May 31, 2010 @ 8:03 pm