Client Boundaries - A Must Have in Your Business
© 2006 - 2009 Kendall SummerHawk
If you love to help your clients, plus give a lot of value and service then I bet you also experience clients who test your boundaries. Hey, it happens!
Sometimes it happens unexpectedly, like when a client surprises us with a special request or need. Those aren't the tough situations. The tough ones are the ones that create that "heart sink" feeling when you see your client's appointment on your calendar or hear their voice on your voicemail.
The warning signs for situations like this are pretty apparent early on. Luckily, there IS something we can do to either prevent a difficult situation from occurring, or minimize one that pops up. Either way, arriving at a successful solution means you have to be willing to love yourself MORE than you love your client!
Here's an example of what I mean: Suzie is a coach, with a practice that is growing slowly. Her clients are loyal and she enjoys working with them. Except for her client, Mary. Mary calls in 5 minutes late for most appointments. Her initial client agreement arrived the day of her first coaching session. Then, after three months of working together, her check bounced.
What's tough about situations like this is that the client isn't being all out terrible...but she is certainly crossing a line. If Suzie ignores the situation (hoping it will improve on it's own) then she is silently telling Mary that she doesn't deserve to be respected.
But hope is not a strategy.
The ripple effect of that lack of respect will be felt far and wide in Suzie's relationship with Mary AND in her relationships with other clients too! It impacts Suzie's ability and confidence to raise her fees, make a big coaching challenge or ask for valuable referrals. It also potentially diminishes the quality of results she and Mary will create together.
So what are Suzie's—and YOUR—options?
Here are 5 quick tips for handling difficult or demanding clients with grace and elegance:
Tip #1 Speak the plain truth and speak up for what
you want
I have always found that being direct and honest about a situation
is THE best way to create a positive outcome. What that looks like
or sounds like will vary depending on your situation, but it does
not include mincing around or being vague.
In Suzie's situation, she can tell her client, Mary that she needs her to show up on time and prepared for their coaching sessions. Remember, clients WANT us to hold them to their greatest potential! We can accomplish that by speaking up and clearly stating what we need in order for the relationship to work. Our clients can then choose whether they are willing to participate at the level you expect. Which leads me to tip #2...
Tip #2 Be willing to let the client go
This can be a tough one to follow but I guarantee that once you release
the need to keep the client (or the need to "make it all okay
for them") you free yourself from being out of integrity.
Plus, when you know you are willing to let a client go if your standards are not met, you automatically create more choices and options in how you want to proceed, and more credibility in the actions you take. I've noticed that the more I am willing to let a client go, the faster that client shapes up!
Tip #3 Be clear about your standards
In all fairness to your clients, you must be crystal clear about your
standards and the boundaries that support them. When the tables are
turned and I am the client, I've found that the more clear my coach/supplier/vendor
is, the more I enjoy working with them. The funny thing is, is that
their clear standards make me a better client and I get more of what
I want!
Do you have clear standards on how you want to be treated by your clients? Do the standards you have need to be updated given where you are now in your business? I recommend writing out a list of what you expect from clients. Don't be surprised if, when you write your list, you realize where you've been letting clients get away with behavior you don't really find acceptable!
Tip #4 Don't waffle or overly-apologize
The best way to encourage someone to take ownership and responsibility
for their actions is to model what you want. Overly apologizing or
waffling on a standard you've set sends a signal that you don't really
mean what you say or you won't back it up.
When faced with an uncomfortable client situation I'll apologize for not being clear earlier on. By doing so, I'm taking responsibility for my part in the situation. Then I go right into asking for what I need and making a request to see if the other person is on board with me...or not.
Tip#5 Don't wait! Take care of the situation sooner
rather than later
In my work with horses I have to be crystal clear on my boundaries
at all times. The horse, on the other hand, is always looking for
any "leaks." It's as if they have a thought bubble above
their head that says, "Hmmm...I wonder what I can do to get my
human to ____(fill in the blank)?"
So I've learned to be clear and firm at all times, not just sometimes. That doesn't mean I nag at my horses. But I do make sure I have their attention and respect, and if I don't, I'm doing something immediately to get it back!
Is there a client situation you're tolerating now? In your fantasy world, what would that situation look like instead? Great! Now take action and make that situation look just like how you want it to, using the tips I've given you here!
Client relationships can be a slippery slope. Once they start to go downhill, they seem to pick up speed and before we know it, we're in a situation that is going to take a lot more work to clear up.
My coaching request to you is this: Love yourself more than you love your clients, and let that love show by creating clear standards for the people you let into your world. The magnetism you create when you do is a powerful attractor for many great people and events in your life and business!
About the author:
Kendall SummerHawk, the "Horse Whisperer for Business" delivers smart, savvy ways entrepreneurs can turn their hectic business into a smooth-running, fun, 6-figure money-making dream. To learn more about her book, Brilliance Unbridled, and sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her site at http://www.kendallsummerhawk.com
NOTE: You are welcome to “reprint” this article online as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the “about the author” info at the end). I would also appreciate a copy of your reprint sent to kendall@kendallsummerhawk.com